Israel

I try not to watch too much of the news. It's too depressing to hear about all the violence that plagues our world. Our country is a complete disaster and the main city I live near has multiple homicides each and every night. It's just so gross. 

The world is falling apart and Israel is in an active war. Now I'm not about to get into my opinions about anything, but I can say that innocent civilians should not be targeted. They should not be dying. Babies should be safe. 

I work with people who live and work in Israel. Like, people I chat with almost every day.

And I'm channel surfing and landed on CNN. 

And I stopped in my tracks because I recognized my guy. It put everything into perspective for me. We've talked about our families, kids (he has 3 LITTLE kids at home in NYC). He's a captain in the Israeli Army. It's insane to think he just jumped on a plane and headed over there. 

And then I got his OOO when I had to send a note. If that doesn't make shit real. Holy fuck. 

It Finally Happened. I Caught The 'Vid

You Guys.

You know all that traveling I've been doing? 

Well...yeah. 

Our little get together was just a petry dish for COVID.

Out of 90 people, I think I know of 5 (including myself) who have it.

Super fun.

Ok, so here's the deal. It's super annoying and inconvenient.

BUT. I'm very lucky.

I have asthma. 

And so far, I haven't had any respiratory issues.

I had body aches like crazy the first 4 days. 

I have had a stuffy head/nose (not drippy though) for since about day 4-6 (today is day 6 for me). 

But let me back up first. 

I got home Thursday afternoon and instead of lifting, decided to walk. I'm on a team for work that's about steps/activity and our team is in the top 30 (out of like over 800 teams).

Anyway.

I woke up Friday and felt under the weather. Kindaaa how I've been feeling all week? I felt pretty good the days I was in Boston.

I had a light day Friday and got through the day without any real issues.

Saturday I received a text message from a colleague who had tested positive. I did not feel well Saturday. Not terrible, but not well.

Oh yeah, we were also pet-sitting Willow for a few days. 

I asked Steve to grab a test on his way home (he was also picking up the girls from my mom's). 

I stayed on the couch/in bed all day basically. I took the test as soon as he got home and people. Before I had the chance to set the test down, it was positive.

Literally immediately after

Like, 5 minutes later

My little bedmates 

I sent my friend (who I work with, and who also has the VID) this pic when we both realized we both had it (she also works remotely, from another state) to show her how beautiful I was. I didn't want to take PTO (too much to do). Another reason I love working remotely. 

This is day 5. The evening of Day 5. 

On day 6, I still feel off. My head is very stuffy. My body aches have subsided, but I still feel "off".

I haven't worked out for over a week and I'm dying to. I just know that I absolutely cannot do it. I'm still winded doing anything. I'm still tired. I'm fatigued. 

It's really annoying and really weird. 

I also lost my sense of taste and smell. I never had a great sense of smell - I feel like I lost that years ago. But to not be able to taste coffee....it's weird. Hot liquid...with a faint taste of coffee/creamer. 

I hope I don't have any of the "long term" covid symptoms. I will not like that.

Like today on Day 6...I cannot fathom doing a workout. I'm so just...blah. 

I've been isolating for the last 5 days. Having very little contact with Steve and the girls. 

I'm masking any time I'm out of my room. 

I have another 5 days before I'll feel more comfortable being around them.

Steve has been helping so much with everything...which is very nice. He's not waiting for me to ask him. He's just doing it. 

Judgey McJudgerson

I think I'm a good judge of character. 

I do. I think if I get a good vibe from someone, I dunno, like I could hang out with them...it's cool.

And I thought that's what I found for Shermie.

A nice married lady, older son (about to move out), husband. Fenced in backyard. Has a weenie now, along with two other dogs. (One was supposed to move out with the son).

The lady has the same tattoo that I have! The one of Picasso's "Lump" wiener dog. 

It was meant to be.

Until it was not.

When he left...I was super sad. Cried and cried. Days leading up to his adoption, I cried and cried.

But I have to be an adult here. Mature. Responsible. 

I'm in no position to keep this dog. 

FOUR dogs? 

That's too many. 

But after one short weekend away, Shermie's new mom texted me and said her son couldn't bring a dog, she couldn't have 4 dogs in her town, yada, yada, yada. 

So we went and got him.

And he seemed SO HAPPY to be home. 

I mean. He fell asleep in our bed almost immediately and stayed there the entire night.

And of course since then, he's been an absolute gentleman. 

Very little barking/whining.

Settling in his crate when needed just fine.

No accidents.

Sleeps in bed and cuddles with Wiener. 

I can't take it.

I don't know if I can let him go again. 

They didn't snuggle a lot at first. I'd say it took at least 4 weeks before we saw any of this behavior. Shermie is very active and Wiener isn't a fan when he's all crazy. But this? I cannot. 

He is the busiest boy. He's super curious and is just a riot to be around. He has the best personality and is hilarious. 

The one ear flop these guys are known for. I'm going to get a tattoo with that on the back of my other arm. 

The night we let him go the first time. I was a wreck. 

The day he came home from the failed adoption

Just hanging out while I take Ava to the bus stop

Stop it. So cute!

💕

Physique Update

Well folks, the summer is already gone. I'm not exactly sure how that happened so fast! I have been trying to focus on my fitness for the last few months. 

I've been doing pretty good, except with taking photos. I feel incredibly vain taking photos of myself, but I know it's how I can see what I've been working on visibly. It's not about how I look. It's about how I feel and how I feel in clothes. 

So my beginning weight, back in 2020 was around 126 - 128lbs. After I think 6 or so months of my fitness journey, I dropped almost 18lbs. My lowest recorded weight after I started lifting was 108lbs. I hadn't been that weight since...high school? 

Anyway, last summer I was around 116lbs and felt really good about that weight. Over the winter though, I wanted to try to bulk a little - I say that verrrryyyy loosely. I didn't have a strict regimen or anything, but I have been watching my nutrition. I wanted to gain muscle, so I wasn't afraid of eating...but getting in that much protein is hard! It's a weird feeling to want to eat to gain muscle, but also being worried about gaining weight. Ugh, so annoying. 

Anyway.

June 24

July 12

July 31

August 7

August 7

August 21

This has been my lowest weight since last year. I'm happy with my progress over the last couple of months. I'm definitely stronger and am lifting way heavier than I have before.

A few things to note - this is what I'm tpyically doing:

- Back flies unilaterally, using 20lbs - 3 drop sets of 14, 12, 10

- Bicep curls, unilaterally, using 20lbs - 3 drop sets of 14, 12, 10

- Back rows, unilaterally, using 30lbs - 3 drop sets of 14, 12, 10

- Shoulder press, unilaterally, using 30lbs, 2 sets of 5

- Tricep kick backs, unilaterally, using 15lbs, 3 drop sets of 14, 12, 10

- Deadlifts - I've done a few with the barbell at 105lbs I think. I don't use the barbell enough though. I normally deadlift using dumbbells (60lbs total)

- Squats - 60lbs 3 sets of 10 (I could probably do more...)

I distinctly remember not being able to curl 10lbs! So I'm feeling strong. I may incorporate more cardio into the mix, but we'll see. 

It's crazy to think it's been more than 3 years since I started this journey. From where I started and to where I am now. I've never had abs in my life before. Now I do. It's just crazy what the body can do. I've never had more confidence either - being an almost 42 year old mom of two. 

August 24 - 117.8lbs

Physique Update

My title sounds formal, like anyone is out there critiquing my "physique" other than me, myself and I. 

But here we are. Middle of June and I've made some moves with my weight.

About 2 weeks ago I decided to really pay attention to my diet. I knew I was snacking too much and not being mindful of the types of food that was entering my body.

I started up a new love of cottage cheese. Yes, I know. It just doesn't sound appealing. I know. The consistency is also not the best, but for some reason, I don't mind it.

Now, don't get me wrong I love my sweet stuff, so I'm not eating just plain cottage cheese. Because that sounds awful. I'm eating the "fruit doubles" - so yeah, it has some added sugar but it also has 12g of protein in one serving. And it's gluten free. And I love them. So I'm eating like two of those a day - one for breakfast and one for snack later in the day. 

I'm limiting my snacking to fruit or granola bars. 

My dinners are usually protein and some salad mix (you know the kinds that come all ready to go? I love those!)

I'm down 3-4lbs. 

I weighed in this morning at 122.2.

I was like 116 - 118lbs last year.

Got up to 126 over the winter. 

So that's a win! 

Yahoo!

Don't get me wrong. I'm making it sound kinda easy.

It has not been easy. 

I want to eat all the PopTarts. I want to eat all the ice cream. I do let myself have one small bowl of ice cream each night because that's just my jam. But I really try not to have more than one small bowl and because I haven't snacked all day, I don't feel too badly about it. 

But I love snacks. And chocolate. And dessert coffees. 

(Sigh).

BUT, I have to remember that the way I feel - stronger, more confident, clothes fitting better...that all feels better than all the snacks and chocolate.

I'm lifting heavier too - using those 30lbs for some back and leg exercises. 

So I'm hoping that some of the weight I put on during winter was muscle. We'll see as I try to lose the next few pounds.  

What I can say is that body recomposition is just so crazy. 

I was about 126-128lbs when I started my fitness journey and I got almost back up to that weight this past winter. But my body is completely different. My clothes feel tight, but not that tight. And not in the same way. No muffin top. WUT.

I'm trying so hard to build this Asian booty. I have spent my entire life with the flattest ass. 

My PR on unilateral shoulder presses 6 reps with the 30lb dumbbell. Working on that progressive overload, people. 

~125lbs. 

I have 4-5 more pounds to lose to get to my goal. 

I just need to focus and it's all Gucci.

Business Travel

When I interviewed for this position, they asked me if I could travel. 

I never LOVED it previously, depending on the reason why we had to travel.

But so far the 3 times I've had to travel for work in the 3 months I've been with the company, it's been awesome.

The first time I traveled to Boston on my very first day of work. That was nothing short of amazing.

No responsibilities yet and getting to meet the entire team all in one place. A lot of folks are remote, so it's not often everyone gets together (usually once a year, but now they are thinking twice a year).

When I used to travel for work, it was generally for big client presentations or pitches.

Always butt-clenching work.

The trips I've just been on have been way more fun.

This last time I got to go to Orlando because my client is a hotel/resort destination company and they are headquartered there. No presentation, just a meet and greet really. We got to have our already-scheduled meetings in person. We've spent a ton of time with these people on the phone/zoom meetings, but never met them in person. It was nice to put a face to a voice (a lot of folks don't even turn their cameras on!)

We got to stay at a hotel right in Disney Springs. I've never been, so it was nice to be able to see it a bit and walk around.

It was just me and my boss, and she's young and awesome (I worked with her for years back a couple of agencies ago). Super smart. Fun. A mom. She gets it. 

We landed around noon and then had to go grab lunch. We couldn't get into our rooms quite yet because they weren't done being cleaned and whatnot. So we left our bags with the bell hop and walked to look for food.

The weather was "only" in the high 60's but with the Florida sun on our faces, it felt glorious.

We found lunch, walked around, bought some candy for our kiddos. Ate a churro. Saw some cool Lego structures. 

Made entirely of Legos

So crazy! These structures are huge! 

hmmm...churros

thought this was funny. 

We had a nice client dinner Monday night. It was a long-ass day for me though. Up at 3:45am to make sure I got to the airport on time for a 6:25am flight. 

I made it just in the nick of time - I had forgotten that it was Spring Break so airport security was WAY longer than it usually is for me when I've flown on Monday mornings.

By the time we got back from dinner, it was close to 9:30, I think. I was TIRED.

I showered and went to bed.

Up at 6:30 the next day to get ready for an 8am Uber to the next resort. We had a sales presentation to sit through (which was VERY cool, by the way). 

We grabbed lunch and then had a working session basically the rest of the day before we had to head back to the airport. My flight was at 7:20 with a 50 minute layover in ATL.

That airport is HUGE and I had anxiety immediately when booking that flight. Knowing that if there was a slight delay at any part of my journey, there was a chance I'd be missing my connection home.

But alas, all that over-thinking was for naught as I landed early in ATL, the train basically pulled up a minute after I arrived at the 'plane train' as they call it. Then got to my other terminal/gate with plenty of time to spare.

Got to even sit and finish my kindle book before boarding the plane for the final leg home.

I got home around 12:45am and couldn't really settle until close to like 1:45 or so. But whatever. I considered it a great trip. Great exposure with the clients and experience gained for me.

I should be heading back in May. Looking forward to it! We are thinking of adding a day before or after any meetings or whatever so we can enjoy it a little more.

Till next time, folks! 

We've Been...Busy...

I know I've been MIA recently.

Not only is my new job keeping me really busy, things are just...not great. Definitely not in a place where I want to be shouting from the rooftops.

The kids are busy and Steve has been working a lot.

I'm trying desperately to maintain a level head and not overreact to things and to try really hard to rationalize things.

Don't just make decisions because I'm pissed. 

With it being March...that also puts me in a different kind of mood. 

March is a tough month here in Western NY. 

The skies are gray 90% of the time.

It's still stupidly cold out most of the time.

We usually expect at least 1 bad winter storm in March.

But, at the same time, there's a bit of hope in the air because you can just feel Spring right around the corner.

With how tumultuous my life has been these last 6 months, I can truly say I have no idea what my life will look like in the next 6 months.

I hope better. 

Boston Details and Getting Settled

Onboarding at a new job is no joke. 

Especially when it's a bank. 

I've only ever worked for privately owned companies, usually owned by one to three people. The largest company I've worked for was like 100 people at its max.

I never, everrrrrr thought I'd work for a national organization with over 18,000 employees.

But my team? It feels like a start up. We are about 80 people deep with all the different verticals, but my specific team is like 10 people. And I've worked with 3 of them in a past life! 

Anyway, after an amazing 3 day trip to Boston last week, I've been spending my time getting settled and organized. 

First Week of My New Job - COMPLETE

You guys.

I have officially completed by first week at my new job.

The first 3 days were spent in Boston, followed up with two days settling into my home office.

Let me just say this: it's incredibly hard to work off of a small laptop with no second screen, no mouse and no keyboard.

All my "extra" stuff is for a MAC. We now have Dell laptops (gagggg).

So it's, um, super annoying. 

Trying to see different windows is nearly impossible. 

So now this is my set up, while I wait for my new stuff to arrive.

I'm going to be redecorating my office. I will likely remove the bed to give myself more space...I dunno. 

Sitting through a million compliance trainings

I sat in on some meetings, but mostly tried to get acclimated with our systems. 

I spent a lot of time doing compliance trainings, which are sooooo boring and tedious to get through. 

Funny How Life Is - My First Day at My New Job

If I were to tell you what's happened in my life in the last 5 months, I swear you wouldn't believe it.

The ups and downs have been incredible to deal with. 

Literally the lowest point in my life, probably ever, alongside the most amazing point in my life. 

Happening at literally the exact same time.

How is that even possible. I'm sure it happens all the time in the grand scheme of things.

I wonder how other people deal with it. 

My brain is mush and it's been hard not to have a constant knot in my stomach.

That "pit" feeling is so real I'm just in disbelief about everything.

The universe is weird, I tell ya.

Celebration - canceled

Steve's 40th birthday is coming up.

It's bittersweet.

I want to celebrate this milestone birthday with him and do something special. 

But he doesn't deserve it. 

There's no sugarcoating it.

But, because I'm stupid, or because I feel bad for him. Or because I don't want other people who don't know our story, to think I'm a horrible wife for doing NOTHING for him.

I mean, he took me on a surprise trip to NYC after all. 

Right?

Wrong.

He spent money we didn't have to take me on an extravagant trip.

Continuing to dig us into financial hardship.

So no, he does not deserve this trip.

Which is why I bought trip insurance. 

Just in case I wanted to cancel.

But then I got a new job.

A freaking life-changing job.

A job I should be proud of and a job that should be celebrated. 

So we're going on a really small trip.

It's only 2 hours away and it's only for 2 days.

Because he may not deserve this trip.

But I certainly do. 

Home

Welp. 

Mr. Wiggles was officially adopted.

I'm so happy for him!

And I'm also sad.

It was a lot of work having 4 dogs.

And getting him used to being a dog...it's a lot to juggle. And he was the bestest boy!

Saturday was his home visit/meet and greet with a family with 4 little kids.

They seemed like a completely normal family.

They are familiar with the breed and the mom grew up with them and they had one who past away a couple of years ago at the ripe old age of 16.

I knew he'd be loved.

They had a fenced-in backyard, which is ideal for him. 

I cried because he was confused - of course. And crawled into my lap for security.

One of the little boys brought over his blanket for him and covered him up. 😭 Like come on.

They loved him immediately.

As they were filling out the contract and all that, I got so sad.

He was looking at me and going to the front door, like "ok, I'm ready to go!"

I chatted with him as I sat on the floor and told him that he was going to have the best life. 

That they loved him so much already. 

I cried as we finished up the paperwork.

And then I had to basically run out of their house so I didn't break down in front of their kids. Lol. 

What a mess.

I texted the mom later that evening to check in.

I think he will be very happy there!

That doesn't mean I won't miss him.

It's super quiet in the house now, funny as that might sound.

He used to yell at me while I was prepping their food bowls, his chatter, and whining. 

And that corner of our foyer that he occupied...now an empty space. 

But now I have room for another foster. 

It might be a while though, as I start my new job (yeah, more on that later!) and settle in.

Mr. Popular

We listed Mr. Wiggles on Petfinder one day ago and I have already received like 10 applications for this sweet boy.

I have to admit, even though I KNOW that we cannot keep him, I immediately didn't think anyone would be good enough for this guy. I got a little sad, too. 

I didn't even read the applications and was like "ugh - they better be good people" like I'm already defensive for some reason.

He's grown on me for sure. 

He's such a sweet boy.

But, I know finding him the right forever home is the goal and that will also make room for any other foster who may need to get rescued. Me finding him a home means another puppy mill dog can get out of their miserable situation.

Out of the first 4 that I received overnight, 3 were worth reaching out to. The last one used an electric fence and I do not want this poor boy to be shocked in any way. I think that would traumatize him. 

He's still getting used to a leash for fuck's sake. A shock to the neck? On this little wiener? No ma'am.

There is one family who coincidentally lives only about 20 minutes from me and they seem like a good fit. Young family, 3 kids. No current pets but had a wiener who they had to let go a few years ago due to old age. So they know the breed.

They have a 6ft vinyl fence, so that's perfect. 

I have scheduled a meet and greet for this Saturday and fingers crossed it works out!

I reached out to the rescue so I understood next steps. 

They actually put a hold on his application on Petfinder because he's getting so much traffic. 

After the 4 from earlier this morning, I think another 5-6 came through. I'm weeding through those as well.

There are two other families that might work out if this first one does not.

I'm glad he's getting so much interest! This makes me confident that he'll find a home and that he'll find the right home. I'm glad I get to choose for him. 💗

Plus, they are local so I could always drop by and pay him a visit. 

Anyway. 

Fostering is definitely rewarding. 

Watching this little guy come out of his shell and run and play and wag his tail....it means everything.

It'll be hard to part with him, that's for sure. 

Constantly moving lol. But so cute together! 

Mr. Wiggles - Foster #2

We all know what happened with Ween Bean.

My very first foster and my first foster fail.

Stop it. She's my heart. 

That being said, I always wanted to help dogs - those who needed help and I always thought I could do it.

We have the space, I have the time. I love dogs. 

It made sense.

But having 3 dogs is a lot of work.

We've had Ween for about 6 months now and we have found our routine. She's the best little dog! 

She does shit and piss in the house from time to time and that's super frustrating. But I'm trying to have patience with her and just go with the flow. We'll be replacing our area rugs when she's finally potty trained. It's usually my fault anyway since I need to take her out every few hours. 

That being said, I get notifications from the rescue group I'm a part of. Frequently, I don't reply or anything. I have 3 dogs you know.

But I was tagged because it was another wiener. 

A 1.5 year old mini coming from a puppy mill.

He is the sweetest guy.

As expected, he's very shy and timid. He's getting used to noise and people. He will need a patient family who is willing to work on his confidence. 

He's doing great in his crate and going potty outside (it's easiest when I carry him out). Once he's out he loves running around! 

We are still working on walking on a leash and not freaking out when there's tension. He's making slow but sure progress. 

But, since he's young and based on his temperament so far, I really think he will do well in a family soon.

He's been learning how to dog since December 28 - so about 2 weeks now. 

Since I'm trying to be busy for my birthday weekend, I'm really trying to find him a home before then. 

He was just neutered last week and is resting and recovering. Although he does not act like he's bothered in the slightest that his balls just got chopped off. 

So, I've written a little bio about him and sent it off to the rescue group, along with some cute photos.

He's a sweet little guy and I'll miss him! 

Happy New Year!

Welp, we made it another year. 

See ya, 2021. 

2021 was a great year for us, personally. 

Not so much for the rest of the world.

We achieved several things this year that were both unexpected and positive. 

We bought a boat - something I didn't think we'd get for at least several more years. This purchase has allowed us to spend time together as a family doing something that brings us joy. Bonus is that our friends have boats and water toys and we can now partake in all those activities too. 

Steve got his hands on a sweet tractor because he made friends with a sweet, old lady. 

An opportunity came up recently and we also ended up purchasing a 2005 Mustang. A car he's worked on for the last 12 years and was owned by a friend's dad. (The long story short: friend's aging dad ended up in a car accident with this Mustang and it was considered totaled. They gave him a check. Steve checked it out and knew the engine + supercharger was still fine, so we bought it from the insurance company for real cheap).  

Our kids are back in school and thriving. Them getting older is both a blessing and a curse. I miss my babies, but I love hanging out with them now as little people. I mean, until they drive me absolutely insane and I want to drive them off a bridge. (KIDDING). 

My job is amazing and we're just continuing to grow, despite the uncertainty of the economy and all that. Companies still want to market their services digitally, and that industry is just continuing to take off. 

Steve's job is still pretty steady, having been there now for almost 15 years. His position is difficult, but he's definitely built his reputation of patience and being a good person to put in front of mad customers. I think they are finally seeing how smart Steve really is. I think the more he steps it up and improves their processes, even though they are slow as hell, it will eventually pay off for him. He's trying to implement things for the guys on the line in order to keep people happy. There has to be change or people will go find employment elsewhere. Everywhere is hiring. 

So I only have positive thoughts for him as he heads into 2022. 

The girls are are getting older and we are forcing them to take on more responsibilities.

I turn 40 this month and I really think this is my decade. LOL. I can't believe I'm fucking 40.

My mom is now local to me and in good health. Same with my sister. I get to see them weekly now and it's awesome. 

My dad and Steve's parents are the wild card if you will. Dad is lonely out in Vegas and 77 and lives alone. I need to keep an eye on him.

Steve's parents are doing the same...with his dad caring for his mom 24/7. So we worry about them, too. 

Let's hope that 2022 is nice and calm for everyone.

Things I'm looking forward to this year:

My 40th birthday (have I mentioned that yet?)

Mila's 10th birthday (WTF?)

Vacation in August.

And that's it, people.

I want to spend time with friends and family and have a low key year.

Las Vegas, Baby!

I took a last-minute trip to Las Vegas to visit my dad.

I woke up to an email from him last week saying he had fallen, hit his head and was "bleeding profusely" and that when he drove himself to Urgent Care, he had dizzy spells and chest pains.

So I immediately started figuring out what I had to do to get out there.

We had just seen him in August, which was awesome, but I felt like I needed to be there with him. 

He doesn't always tell me the 100% truth when it comes to his health.

He doesn't want me to worry. I get that. But at the same time, I'm the offspring that is responsible for making sure my elderly parents are both taken care of. And since they are divorced, that responsibility had doubled in a sense. 

Since my dad wasn't in immediate danger, I booked my flight for Sunday, returning Wednesday. 

When I spoke to him right after his fall, he had his head bandaged and he looked tired and sore. He said his sprained neck was the worst of it. He told me NOT to come out. He told me it's "NOT A BIG DEAL."

He said "Mei, I'm literally fine" and I replied with "awesome, so we can enjoy our time together and eat some good food."

I made sure to book my flight BEFORE talking to my dad. This way he couldn't talk me out of it. 

My face because there's a cat on board and it's sitting 4 rows behind me. And I'm VERY allergic. 

I love flying Southwest. WiFi on board with free movies and TV. Guess what movie I watched?

My flight arrived on time, right at 11:15. I told my dad I'd take an Uber to his house, but he was NOT having that. 

And the timing couldn't have been better - as soon as I made it out to Passenger Pick-Up, he was pulling up to the curb! 

And you know what? He looked good. Even with his bandaged head. 

We got back to his house and I watched some Schitt's Creek before dozing off around 4am EST. (1am PST)