Month One of Single Living

It's been almost 2 months but I figured I could do monthly updates about my new, single life. 

Wiener seems to be loving this life...a lot of couch and blanket time for this little Weenie.

I needed a way to keep her out of the girls' bedrooms because because she will pee in their rooms - WHY? I don't know. She's not house trained exactly, I need to take her out frequently and not come back inside until she's done. 

We had a glorious, 60 degree day in October. I opened the balcony door and enjoyed the nice breeze. 

My BFF got a WIENER DOG!!! Her name is Penny and she's 3lbs. 

It's safe to say the girls are OBSESSED with the tiny wiener. 

Still trying to make sure the girls spend quality time with my mom. 

I think we've settled into this apartment for the most part. I have amazing friends who have helped me put things up to help make it more homey and less hotel-like. I got my couch, my desk, and a few other pieces to make things feel more complete. 

The girls are amazing rockstars who have assimilated well...I still struggle with the fact that this is not their "home" even though I know it's not about the place, but about the people. Dad's house will always be their real "home". 

We don't have a set schedule, but it's been planned out until next June. We are sharing 50/50 custody and at this point it's going rather smoothly. I filled out a calendar and made sure everyone had copies. They pretty much split the week - Sunday - Wednesdays with one parent and Wednesday PM - Saturday night with the other, give or take. We are being very flexible because we are focused on the kids and we refuse to make it a volatile relationship.

It's weird not to have the girls here. But it's also kind of nice? The house stays clean. I don't have to do anything for anyone. I can be lazy. I can have "girl dinner" which is like a handful of chips and a few M&Ms or something.

I've been busy though. I'm trying to take care of my soul and do things that just make me happy. I've been spending time with friends. Going places on weekends. Eating good food. 

It's all in an effort to learn how to live alone, keep my mind distracted off the fucking horror movie of a life I'm living...but I'm finding peace. That's all I can ask for. 

I'm realizing that life is short and I do not want to regret anything.

When I go back to Steve's house for whatever reason - drop off or pick up Wiener if they are watching her for me, drop something off for the girls or whatever....I get sad. Like, really sad. That was my house. I found that house. I decorated that house. I made that house a home and I had to give it up. 

I've enjoyed living close to things...even though I miss the country life. I can finally get groceries delivered. We can get food deliveries if I'm lazy and don't want to cook OR go pick up food. 

I see Ava every day. On the days that the girls are with Steve, he drops Ava off with me so she can get on the bus from here. The bus picks up late here, so it works out. I only see Mila on days I have her.

So far it's working out well. I mean, as well as it can go for being newly separated. 

Separation agreement paperwork is ongoing and is taking a while to complete. We are still waiting for Steve's lawyer's redlines. Then my attorney will review with me and if I'm good with it, then I sign. 

I also had Steve draw up a bill of sale for the Quad so he owes me for that as well. 

Things are moving along, albeit a bit slower than I'd like. I do realize it's still going much faster than average and I should not complain. It's truly because he's not fighting my requests. We all know he can't really and maintain any sort of relationship with me. 

I'm hoping each month brings a new sense of peace and relief for me. 

Since it brings me so much happiness, it IS time to decorate for Christmas! So that will bring me immediate joy, even if it's not long-lasting. It'll at least bring me joy until Jan. 1. 

Weekend in Alexandria - Day 2

After heading to bed way past our bedtime last night, we were all slow to wake today.

I think I was up somewhere around 7:30am and just kinda hung out and scrolled my phone and waited for others to wake.

We had a very lazy morning, talking, catching up, drinking coffee, all sitting in bed together. It absolutely felt like college and I loved every second of it.

We had brunch reservations at 10, but ended up chatting way too much and missed that. We opted for some amazing bagels and Sil offered to go grab them while us ladies spent that time getting ready for the day.

We ate our bagels and then headed out for a day of adventure. Today we wanted to hit up the free museums. I mean, it's D.C. and there's SO much to see and do. 

We started with going over to the Archives so we could see the Constitution, Bill of Rights, Declaration of Independence. We then went and walked over to see representation of many historical moments throughout time.

The women's rights section floored me. It's insane how recently we were deemed real people. 

The lobby area of her building os gorgeous

It's absolutely insane to see these signatures. Alexander Hamilton? After watching that on Broadway, it means SO much. 

Means SO much during these times. 

1943. A year before my dad was born. 

Metro Station

We experienced the metro and rode about 9 stops to get back to Alexandria and the King Street area. The Thai place we wanted to eat at was down this way. Mind you, it's POURING rain at this point. 

We finally made it to dinner and warmed up with the most amazing food! One thing we all knew about this trip - we wanted to eat the best food. We are all foodies and there is something very special about enjoying good food, good drink with good people. 

We finished a delicious meal and knew what was in front of us: the walk back. 

In the pouring rain.

The day before, it was sunny and gorgeous out. GORGEOUS. It was so cute walking around that area. Tonight? It was chilly and rainy. Thankfully it wasn't THAT freezing cold because FUCK if it was freezing and raining!? But it was just raining so it was bearable. 

We laughed our asses off the entire way, people. To the point where I was keeled over in the middle of the road, laughing, sobbing. I hadn't laughed like that in forever. FOREVER. It was so good for my soul.

And, because of our historic day, we decided we had to watch National Treasure. We stayed up, had a couple of drinks, ate snacks in bed. Surprisingly we all made it to the end of the movie.

Tomorrow is yet another day before we go back to our normal lives. 

Day 2 was a fantastic day. Hilarious and fantastic. 

Weekend in Alexandria - Day 1

You guys. It's been a MINUTE. I've been so busy. In a good way.

I've been filling my cup by doing things I want to do. Anything I want. Without needing to consult anyone or care about anyone's feelings. 

There are a few of us at work who oddly have been dealing with similar life changes. One girl was with her partner for 8 years, has a just turned 2 year old and was going through a divorce. Her divorce is dragggggggginnnnngggg on and I feel terribly for her. But, we share that trauma and luckily we're both funny so we can laugh about it (a little). And then have a drink and cry together about it. 

And another girl and her partner who have also been together for almost a decade broke up. HUGE life changes for us. We were each others' support while at work. I've known one of the girls for probably 12+ years at this point and reconnected at this job. 

Anyway. After months of commiserating, we decided we needed a weekend away. One of the girls moved to Alexandria and invited a few of us to visit for a weekend and enjoy the DC area.

AND BOY DID WE HAVE FUN JESUS CHRIST. 

Let me say - if you're lucky enough to find friends at work...who you can share a room with overnight, hell share A BED WITH, you've made it. 

My travel down there was....interesting to say the least. While drunk in the hotel bar, we realized we had a dilemma. Well, two people had a small dilemma and we needed to figure out the best way to get everyone where they needed to be.

It was decided that I'd fly down one way and then drive my friend's car back to Rochester. The one who lives there, is actually originally from my hometown and we went to the same highschool, just 6 years apart, so we didn't know each other. She would be traveling from VA to another state for a work event, then fly home. She would, however, need her car while at home. So of course, it made sense for me to just drive her car home and connect with her here in Rochester so she could get her car. I love when things work out like that!

Only, they didn't. LOL. Of course. My life does not work out that smoothly. Ever.

The work trip was canceled. 

So my friend would be driving herself up to Rochester. And I would be left stranded in VA because I had only purchased a one way ticket.

Found this out on Tuesday. Flying out Friday.

Decided to canel my flight, take the $60 cancellation fee loss, keep the credit of $35 and drive down.

I stopped in Binghamton to see my BFF and to break up the 6+ hour drive. I spent the night down there and literally hit the road by 7am to make it down to Alexandria. 

Road trips when it's nice out is my favorite! I was JAMMING. 

Kings Street - a very busy, touristy area, but superrrr cute. Restaurants, shops, everything! And the waterfront is straight ahead. Such a gorgeous walk. 

Me and Sil on the way to the water taxi. He's the first friend Ashley and I met when we joined the bank 2 years ago. He's a young lad with a ton of experience. 

Water Taxi to the wharf

Me and my previous boss. I also worked with her 15 years ago! She's an absolute gem. 

Washington Monument from the water taxi

Beautiful ladies at dinner - we had Balkan food and it was SO GOOD. Ashley the brunette is the girl we're visiting. Gorgeous, smart and a beautiful soul. 

A Brandy-like liquor meant to be sipped. The second it touched my lips it burned like hell. No thank you.

That brought us to the end of day one. We ended dinner around maybe 9:30/10pm? We went back to Ashley's gorgeous condo and stayed up chatting well into the night. I think we headed to bed around 1:30am? Something around that. 

So many things planned for tomorrow - but what I love is that everything is completely flexible and if we feel like vegging in PJs, that's what we'll do. I love these people. 

So far, day 1 has been a blast. We all work remotely so we don't get to see each other often - only usually during work offsites and those are obviously work-focused. 

I can't wait to check out some history tomorrow. 

Day One of Living Single

You guys.

This whole last week has been pure insanity.

Moving sucks. 

I didn't have any help, other than the moving company who sent two guys. 

Let me back up a moment.

Tuesday was as normal as it could be. Steve was in a mood, of course,  as he realized I was actually leaving. 

I had to sign my lease and pick up keys at 8:15am. This would give me enough time to get there, sign, do the welcome stuff and be back to the house by 9am to meet the movers.

They arrived just about on time and I was ready to rock and roll.

While the movers got all the large pieces and boxes I had packed, I went to work packing up my truck with all the miscellaneous items I had around.

We were packed up and headed to my new place around 11am. 

Unpacking went rather quickly and before I knew it, I was standing in my new apartment, surrounded by boxes and filled with hope. 

I've never lived in anything brand new. 

This kitchen, you guys! It's not big, but it's gorgeous. 

Wiener checking things out. She's not the biggest fan of walks. 

I left all of my home decor at Steve's house. I picked up a couple of things because I just needed it. I'll grab the rest of my stuff in the next day or so.

My very first Instacart order. 

It's been a long-ass day and I'm exhausted. 

The dicotomy of feelings is unreal. Extreme sadness coupled with extreme feelings of hope. 

Here's to the next chapter. Things can only go up from here. 💖