Unemployed - The Job Search

Well.

It has now been 1 week and 3 days since I've been let go from my job.

I have applied for approximately 11 positions.

I applied for 3 positions pretty much immediately (within a day of being let go). 

At all 3 of these companies, I know someone who is willing to recommend me. All previous co-workers. 

I'm beyond grateful to have this network of people who are willing to speak out on my behalf. 

After the initial shock has worn off, I spent some time online doing what I should be doing: 

The Job Search.

I'm spending a decent amount of time on Indeed.com and LinkedIn just perusing the job listings. 

Anything related to Marketing Communications I'm reviewing and deciding if I'm a good enough candidate to apply. Also if the position sounds like something I would want to do.

I mean. Some people are telling me to find something temporary to hold us over until I find a better job.

I'm super thankful that I don't need to do that. We can manage at the moment so I don't feel like I have to rush into just "any old job."

Also? I can't imagine working a 40-hour a week job, with two kids still home, and finding time to look for a job.

I spent probably 2-3 hours a couple days this week looking for a job.

I reached out to everyone I know just to let them know I'm no longer employed full time.

We'll see what comes of it.

Some positions are client-side (vs. Agency side, where my 16 years of experience came from). Basically I'd be my client and would need to deal with the agency. An interesting swap.

I've heard client-side pays much better. 

I may have some opportunities to pick up random odd jobs, like being a production assistant on a TV shoot. I obviously can't depend on those, but I' grateful people think of me!

My main concern is Health Insurance for me and the girls. Once I get that figured out, I will be able to breathe a little better. I'll then know what type of salary I can negotiate. 

There's one potential opportunity that might just be perfect for me. I don't want to get excited by any means, but UGH. I know the guy who's hiring. The position itself sounds perfect for me. Small company. On the East Side of town, but currently working remote. 

Flexible in terms of kids/school, etc. 

I don't want to get excited. They aren't looking to fill this position immediately. They said within a month.

So what sucks is that if I hold out and nothing happens, I am screwing myself. I could always accept a position elsewhere (if I'm lucky to get offered a job) and then if that other position does come to fruition, I can make the jump. But do I want to DO ALL OF THAT?

OMG. 

Ideally, I'd take the next month off, enjoy my summer with the girls and the job miraculously works out and I start there and have Health Insurance on 9/1. And a new company to get behind and a fresh start. 

HAHA! As if anything in this world could be so perfect. Especially during a time like this. 

Garden Updates

I've had some time on my hands.

I decided to go out and take care of my "Garden". I put that in quotes because.

WTF.

I have just let it go. (Cue Elsa).

But really.

Every year I say I'm going to try harder.

And every year I fail and my garden is a complete disaster. 

I mean, don't get me wrong. I love my harvests and I love to go in there and do my thang. 

It's just really disorganized.

I thought one plant was another, which was another, etc. and it turns out I now have a lot of pumpkins.

My hand for size reference

I'm super excited to harvest these guys come Fall!

Japanese Cucumber

Regular cucumber

Watermelon

So...not sure if these are pumpkins or zucchini?

Love these little viney tendrils

Legit Jungle Status (this is AFTER I trimmed things back)

So cute!

Taking It All In

You Guys.

I lost My Job last week. 

I know. 

It's just...still...wow.

I'm not in shock anymore, but I'm still shocked. Does that make sense?

I've never not had a job.

Since I graduated from college back in 2004 (where my OG people at?!) I've had a job and I've supported myself. 

Even though I was a young 22 year old advertising "professional", I lived in my own condo, paid my own bills. Yes, my parents helped a lot, but I still maintained. I never had to ask my parents for anything.

Then when Steve and I got together, it was nice being DINKS (Dual Income No Kids). We went out to eat a lot. We went to the movies a lot. We took monthly weekend trips to NYC to visit friends. And GO OUT. Oh Lord how we went out in NYC...

ANYWAY.

Having kids changed things, as it should. Kids are fucking PRICEY.

Daycare?

FUCKING DAYCARE?

There was a point when Steve and I were paying $1100 per month (because it was a 5-week month) for two kids in PART TIME daycare.

Yeah.

But we did it.

We managed and still were able to live a life. But were very mindful of our budget, our retirement, savings, etc. 

Then as we got older, we made more money.

I changed jobs and that increased my salary pretty significantly.

And now?

WTF. 

It's an ODD feeling.

However, after processing this (still processing!) I'm wondering if I even go back full-time.

I mean.

We can afford for me not to.

I can take a pay cut and we can still live a great life (maybe not as carefree as before...) but we could do it.

Also, the thing about Steve's job? Well. He's able to go in on extra days and wrench.

And that's pretty lucrative if there are jobs coming in. 

And since he's considered an "A" Level Technician, they are few and far between. Plus with his seniority, he could get the gravy jobs. 

So. 

That's where I'm at.

I don't have to rush into a new job just to have one to hold us over. 

I want to find the right job.

One where I can feel like I can grow. 

Be there for a while and help them grow.

It's taken me a few days to calm the fuck down. I have stopped crying at the drop of a dime. 

I'm trying to enjoy the fact that I have nothing to do. 

I am spending time with my family. 

Like really spending time with them. 

She found a newt and was SO excited

I'm really trying to "enjoy this time" which is much easier said than done. I mean. Yes, I'm beyond grateful that me not going back to work full time is even in consideration at this time.

I think if Steve had it his way, he'd keep his cushy schedule and I'd go back full time (who wouldn't want that?) BUT, because he's an amazing man, and knows how hard I've worked my entire career, while having and breastfeeding two kids during the early parts of my career (meaning - really still proving myself within my place of work), he understands my lack of desire to return to work full time. 

In my industry, that means 40 - 70 hours per week. 

There are definite perks - flexibility for one. I can work from almost anywhere, so as long as I have Internet connection, I can work. 

If the girls have a recital? I can go.

Parent/teacher conference? I can go.

Doctor's appointments? I can go.

All without taking PTO. 

But the down side is that I'm pretty much always working.

I can leave the office (when we were in offices) around 4:30 to go get the girls (so I wasn't stuck in traffic at 5 - 5:30).

But that also means that after dinner, playtime, bath time, bedtime, if I need to hop on the computer to finish up work, I can and do.

I can't count the number of nights I've stayed up working until midnight or longer.

But, it's the industry I'm in and I get it. I picked this industry. 

And I love it.

But, now that I'm a parent, my perspective has changed.

Yes, I want to provide for my family.

But I also want to be around for my family.

So we'll see how this all pans out.

Unemployed - Day 2

So I woke up and nope, it's not a dream. 

Still unemployed. 

Still processing all this shit.

Like what the FUCK just happened?

Ok, it really fucking happened, didn't it?!

I stayed on top of my emails and contacted a few more people today.

I got a reply asking to meet me to discuss "future opportunities".

I know several people at this agency. I worked with a few of them. 

I spent time in my garden - trying to get a handle on this jungle. (Both literally and figuratively).

It was also great time for me to think and process everything. 

Out of control. 

Literally huge. 

Ummm...

My first harvest!

Having my garden is incredibly therapeutic. And I'm thankful that we can EAT this! Check out my adorable cherry tomatoes. Those went into my salad tonight. 

Steve and I also worked on the deck and got two more sections of railing up. We're getting there!

Reality is setting in and Steve and I spent a decent amount of time discussing next steps. 

I've been pondering going back full-time. 

So many swirling thoughts in my head currently. 

Unemployed - Day One

So I wanted to reflect on what happened.

After the initial phone call and subsequent shock, I had to get my shit together. 

The Phone Call happened around 9:30am.

By 11:30, I had signed up for unemployment benefits and got that squared away. Now I wait for a phone call. 

And the extra $600/week unemployment thing from the government? Yeah, that ends July 26. So I likely won't get it.

Fuck my life. 

But regardless I got that part done. 

By 2pm I had reached out to my entire network of people and applied to 3 jobs. 

The text messages were flooding in.

I definitely got emotional throughout the day.

I tried so hard not to lose it in front of the kids.

Also, figured I should try to earn my keep around here and helped Steve with the deck railing. Tried to keep my mind off of everything...like bills, health insurance, shit like that. 

I'm working on some skillz while I'm home...

After painting and prepping them, we decided to take a break and go on a golf cart ride. We've found that when we go out in the evenings, we'll see a lot of deer. 

 It's becoming our thing. We've seen this mama and her two babies several times. So cute. 

What really matters. 

The sunsets and clouds out here are unreal. #stillgrateful.

Even though this is a SHITTY situation....it could be worse. 

Well, this sucks.

Well. 

I lost my job on Tuesday, July 21, 2020.

Somewhat out of the blue. Does that even make sense? 

I knew that my company was going to have another round of layoffs. 

I was hopeful that I wouldn't be on that list.

I made sure my subordinates had enough work to be billable.

And thus, caused myself to not be as billable so my utilization was down.

I get it. 

It sucks.

I'm one of 4 out of my office.

To say I'm devastated is an understatement.

For a variety of reasons.

It's not the same agency I joined 2+ years ago.

I guess I was naive because I've been a professional for 16+ years and I've never been let go from a job.

Like, ever.

So I'm super grateful for that.

But, this is my very first time experiencing all these emotions.

Failure.

A knock to my ego (professionally).

Complete and utter stress on how to provide for my family.

Signing up for unemployment (did that immediately and thankfully, it was rather simple to do and didn't take too long). 

I reached out to my entire network and have already sent my resume out to several places.

Applied to 3 jobs.

I have one call scheduled for Friday.

So yeah.

This fucking sucks.

Wish me luck.

Snacks + Food

I am a snacker.

Sweets? Yes. 

Salty? PLEASE!

It's just...so hard. 

I could eat appetizers all day long. 

BUT, again, I realize what I've been doing is not...doing anything. I feel bloated a lot of the times. I feel "full" all the time. 

It took me a while over the course of the last five (5!!!) weeks that I almost forgot what it felt like to be hungry. 

Like truly hungry.

I'm speeding up my metabolism, which is great. I'm finding myself snacking on healthier options and definitely keeping in mind portion control.

Literally. Instead of like a BOWLful of grapes, I now take like 5. 

And I know I'll get tired of this too, but so far, it's my new favorite.

Rice cake with sunbutter on it. Sunbutter is fucking expensive ($6.50 for one jar of organic, creamy sunbutter - which Ava is allergic to!) But it's SO GOOD. 

I mentioned this before, and I'm trying (really trying) to replace one meal with a shake. I haven't found a protein powder yet (ok, I haven't looked) so I put in Greek yogurt to give me some protein, along with a bunch of fruit to give me those extra vitamins. 

I'm also just being super conscious of what I put on my plate at meal times. Last night I cooked some thick cut pork chops with red onions and a ketchup/brown sugar mixture and it was SO GOOD. 

I ate probably 3oz of the meat and then did about 6oz roasted sweet potatoes and .5oz broccoli. 

Just keeping going. 

Resistance Bands

I ordered resistance bands because I couldn't find any free weights anywhere. 

ANYWHERE.

I mean, I found some. 

But they were legit $200. 

For a pair of 8lb free weights.

WTF.

So I found some resistance bands and was totally excited to try them out.

Then I got a cancellation email.

So I had to find another set. 

I'm glad I did.

What I found was this.

For $35!

Comes with this nifty little carrying bag

Comes with ALL OF THIS. 3 different resistance bands (20lb, 30lb, 40lb). Handles. Extra loop thingies. Haven't figured out what those are for. Door anchor (so excited to try this!)

And holy shit after my first workout. Super sweaty! 

I have to say it takes a bit of getting used to. But once I found my groove, it got easier. I plan on rotating between these and my regular weights and kettlebell. 

So far I enjoy them. I like having different methods and options to go with. 

Smoothies and Intermittent Fasting

I officially published my workout post.

It took me several minutes before hitting the button. 

If I publish it, it makes it real. 

Working Out - One Month Down

I've never been one to work out.

Like, ever.

I hate cardio and attribute my dislike for it because of my asthma and having shit lungs. 

Cardio hurts my lungs.

I've never been overweight or anything, so I'm lucky in that regard.

But I'm not healthy.

I don't eat that well. 

I love sugar.

And ice cream.

And coffee creamer.

And FOOD.

And I dislike working out.

There was a period of a few months that I signed up for a couple of classes at my local rec center. I signed up with a friend, to ensure accountability. 

I kept that up for a few months and it was ok. I didn't LOVE it. But I liked feeling good afterwards.

When I got engaged, I was determined "to get fit"

LOL.

I bought a treadmill and walked/jogged on that sucker maybe 3-4 times a week and after a year? I lost 10lbs. IN A YEAR.

Like WTF. I could've probably lost that if I just ate better and probably didn't need the treadmill at all.

Then I got pregnant and I'm one of those "lucky ones" that drops weight super fast by breastfeeding.

I was 166lbs when I went into the hospital to give birth to Mila.

6 months later I was 115lbs. 

HOLY SHIT.

I was 20lbs lighter the second time I got pregnant.

I think I topped out with Ava around 145lbs.

Again, dropped weight relatively quickly again (and with all of Ava's allergies, I pretty much ate nothing but lean protein, veg and fruit). 

Got down to 115lbs again really quickly. 

Fast-forward a few years and I'm sitting at 125-127lbs right now.

I really should lose about 10-12lbs.

I'm only 5'2"

ANYWAY.

I like low-impact weight training.

I know I'm not FAT, but man I'd like to be TONED. 

My baby pooch needs to GO.

Last May, after my work did a "PLANK CHALLENGE" I started to get motivated.

So I spent like a month doing some kettlebell workouts. I love my kettlebell!

Then my elbow started to really bother me.

So I stopped and got lazy.

Our boat vacation is coming up in 12 days.

LOL. Too late to start?

It's never too late.

I don't plan on getting a "bikini body" like, ever, but may as well use it as motivation to do SOMETHING, right?

So, I started Wednesday (June 17) with a quick 20 minute kettlebell workout for beginners.

People.

I barely made it through the freaking warm up!

But I did it.

And the next day I did it again. Made it through both circuits.

Day 2. I've been sending my selfies to Steve for accountability. 

Day 3

Day 4

I skipped day 5 and 6. So here's day 7. (June 23)

Day 8.

The first 4 days I did the same program. 

Just a Beginners program. 

After that, I decided to try some other things.

So the next time I did arms and glutes.

And yesterday (day 8 above) I did arms and core.

I'm not going to promise to to keep this up, but so far I like it. 

So I'll keep doing it. 

I think I need a heavier kettlebell, too. 

I've gone two days in a row without doing anything, but that's it. It was last Sunday and Monday. Since then, I've only missed one day, which was Rocket Launch Day. And that's because we were just busy - out of the house early and got home kinda late. 

I didn't take pics every single day. 

But, back at it and did arms, back and shoulders today (Monday, June 29). I also did a quick 12 minute glutes circuit. A total of 25 minutes spent. 

Sweat dripping. Felt great! 

I'm actually contemplating bringing my kettlebell with me on vacation...I dunno. 

And before anyone goes judging me and being all proud - I just crushed a McDonald's cheeseburger, some fries and a couple of nuggets. 

So there's that.