This is 38.

This past year went by fast.

I just reread my post from when I turned 37.

Nothing much happened that day, huh? I guess that's a good thing!

I don't feel all that much older.

Except this year I have tennis elbow.

And my right knee is starting to bother me.

What the fuck.

The idea of having a third baby is drifting.

If I did decide to have that 3rd baby, I'd be well into the "geriatric pregnancy" category.

Knowing 40 is right around the corner is just plain nuts.

It started out a little rough, with losing a dear friend.

BUT, 38 should also be amazing, for several reasons:

1. Steve and I celebrate 10 years of wedded bliss. I love him more and more every damn day and I'm so lucky. And we are seriously so lucky to be able to travel to Italy and Santorini to celebrate.
2. My mom moved back to NY and my sister is moving in with her and will be 30 minutes closer to me (she lives an hour away from me now).
3. Ava starts full day Kindergarten in the Fall. I'm not sure how to feel having two "big kids" now and no more babies...
4. I got promoted recently and have new responsibilities added to my plate - it's all amazing, just a lot of pressure and eyes on the team.
5. HOPEFULLY start building our barn this summer (we have been pricing out some material!)

And, just for fun. Let's take a look at me, from the last year.

my favorite tattoo by far

playing with filters while waiting for preschool 

This was one of the most memorable days over the summer. Perfect weather. 4-wheeling with a bunch of friends.

Typical morning before school

me at work (sorry for the crappy pic)

me and mom before we knew she was moving home!

NKOTB with one of my besties

Meeting baby cows at Farmer Matt's (across the street)

Mila and mommy playing with filters

Me and one of my white crested polishes

One of my favorite places to be #lakelife

Here's hoping to another good year. 

Date with Mom. Happy birthday to me!

I spent the day with my mom.

I haven't spent a day with my mom on my birthday in over 8 years.

Incredible.

It was so nice.

And comforting.

And more validation on the type of relationship I have with my mom.

We had a bank date to provide paperwork for her new house.

We went to the Asian Food Market to pick up a few things.

This is mom. In a nutshell. She's a ham. 

It's always interesting going to the Asian Food Market

We went to Macri's Deli for lunch. HOLY SHIT THIS MEATBALL SUB YOU GUYS.

I enjoyed chocolate cheesecake and coffee in the afternoon before Mila got home from school.

nothing better than The Great British Baking Show

Mom made me a gourmet dinner too! Dungeness crab and sea bass. Amazing.

The girls had a nice evening and it was a very nice day. I am very lucky to have been able to spend it with my two girls and my mom. 

The last few days have put things in perspective for sure. With Ted passing away Friday, and then finding out that basketball legend Kobe Bryant and his 13 year old daughter perished in a helicopter crash over the weekend, along with 7 others. 

Life is just so precious. 

We'll miss you, Ted

We lost someone close to us on Friday.

The day before Steve's birthday.

Just like 12 years ago. 

When Grandpa Teenie died.

It was the day before Steve's birthday.

It's a really shitty trend. 

Ted lived two houses down from Steve when he was growing up.

He and Ted's son Turk (his name was Ryan but he was born close to Thanksgiving so his dad gave him the nickname and it stuck) were best friends since they could remember.

Photos of them playing together at 3, 4, 5, 6 years old.

All the way up into middle school age.

Then Turk got... a little messed up....and needed help.

And this is where I lose track of what really happened.

No matter how much time passed, he and Steve could pick right back up and it'd be like old times.

Then he got really sick and hooked on heroin.

And as he put it himself, he "couldn't fight the demons anymore" and he took his own life.

This was in 2007.

Steve kind of became Ted's surrogate son after Turk died.

We made sure to stop there and check in on him and Patty.

The girls went Trick Or Treating at their house for the first 6 years of Mila's life.

They always spoiled our girls at Christmas time.

Ted was a good guy. A good neighbor.

Gone too soon.

We'll miss you.

I just need a minute. Or 8.

I've mentioned before that my world can be a little hectic at times.

Steve's schedule doesn't help.

I'm not trying to be negative.

It's a fact.

On the days he's working, I don't have any help (well, besides my mom as of the last couple of weeks).

But before that, it's just me and the girls. And the dogs. And the chickens. (And hopefully soon the goats, donkeys and alpacas! I'll get to that later).

When Steve gets home from work, the house is clean (mostly).

The house is dark.

And quiet.

The girls are in bed.

I'm also likely in bed (snuggled in with laptop and Dateline on).

Dogs have been let out.

Everyone has been fed.

Baths are done if it's bath night.

"Homework" is reviewed (mostly just spelling lists).

Backpacks are checked.

Lunches are made.

All after I've worked a 7-9 hour day. Like, really using my brain kind of work.

So on the days he's home he really does it all.

He makes it easy for me.

He makes it SO easy for me that when he's home, I get that sigh of relief almost as if it's the weekend. Like, it's just so much better when he's home.

When I get home, it's a mad rush to make dinner and do all the things.

When he's home, I get to come home, say hi to everyone and give (and receive) hugs and kisses.

And then I go into my room and immediately change out of work clothes. (And these days, at my current agency, we're super casual, so that means jeans, heels on a good day and a decent shirt).

Let's be real. We'd alllllll rather be in leggings and a hoodie.

So I put my comfy clothes on and sit in the bathroom and go on my phone for 5-8 minutes.

During this time Steve does a good job of keeping the girls from crawling under the bathroom door or shoving things under the door for me to look at.

I go on facebook. Or instagram.

Or watch videos on youtube.

For literally like 8 minutes.

It's just the "quiet" I need to recharge for a minute before going back out to my family.

As the kids get older, and I get older, I'm giving myself more grace and patience. More time for myself to collect myself after a having a day. Any day.

Dinner + A Movie

Steve and I went to dinner and a movie recently.

Like many couples, I'm assuming, we did that pretty frequently before we had kids.

We are not one of those families who has a "village" who are staples in our children's lives. Other than Steve's parents, that is.

They are a constant and I'm forever grateful that my kids have had one set of grandparents near by their entire lives. But with my MIL's disability, they are limited in how much they can help us. Two kids is a LOT of work!

Now that my mom has moved home and is conveniently staying with us while she closes on her new house, we have a built in gramma. In Mandarin, it's "po-po" meaning it's the maternal grandmother.

My mom has never lived close by since I've had my kids. My parents moved when I was pregnant.

Anyway, we're taking advantage of having a built-in babysitter.

So we hit up dinner at PRIME Steakhouse and watched Bad Boys For Life the other night. An early birthday celebration if you will.

My review of PRIME.

It was okay.

The food was actually pretty good.

But the price was insane.

We knew it would be, but the service and everything else didn't really warrant the insane price tag.

The server did his best and was friendly and wanted to do a great job. You could tell that he didn't have a lot of experience though. He did his best.

The food was good, like I said, but I'm not going to say it was the best steak I've ever had.

The Brussel Sprouts were good, and the portion was huge, but overall, weren't THE BEST I've ever had. I had better in a hotel in Philly last October.

Steve's creamed spinach was good, again, but not THE BEST.

The best parts were the appetizers - we got seared scallops and pork belly - and the drinks. The drinks were well-poured.

But the $240 price tag for everything? No thank you. We will not be returning.

Now let's talk about the movie.

I will NOT ruin the movie for those who haven't seen it. Not that anyone actually reads this blog, but, ya never know!

The movie was funny. It paid homage to the two before it.

Will and Martin are hilarious together and still have great chemistry.

Even though dinner wasn't spectacular, we enjoyed ourselves! It was a nice evening out with each other.

I always enjoy spending time with him. <3

We're so close to finishing the kitchen!

We're so close. We can't lose momentum!

We had a few more tiles to finish up to get the backsplash done.

We are choosing to go with a darker grout, to really make the white subway tile pop. We have 3mm of space in between and I really love how the dark grout came out. We only did above the stove so we could get the range hood up and hope to finish up grouting this weekend. 

I cannot wait to post the reveal photos! We are hoping to get the grout finished up this weekend. 

A Very Busy Week

Oh my god you guys.

I can't even take it.

I'm drowning in work.

It's apparent since I haven't posted in like a week. I have like 4 drafts started but haven't been able to finish up.

The most exciting thing right now is our kitchen renovation, but I'm not going to reveal any more until it's complete and I can do the BIG reveal.

My sister is visiting, she just had LASIK surgery done (or the other kind, I don't remember), so she's staying at my house so my mom can take care of her.

The first day is pretty brutal. She mentioned a sandy feeling in her eyes and it brought back memories! Omg I forgot about the sandy feeling and not being able to rub my eyes at all.

But I told her tomorrow will be SO much better.

I am taking her to her post-op tomorrow and WFH the rest of the afternoon.

Then Steve and I are going on a date!

Dinner at PRIME Steakhouse and then Bad Boys III.

Nothing makes me happier.

Everyone relaxing, watching Mary Poppins

I promise to get back on track!

The kitchen reveal will be happening soon!

MOM'S HOME + Weekend Updates

You guys.

Having my mom home is just so...comforting. 

I haven't had to cook anything since she's been home. Not that I haven't tried. 

She told me she likes to feel "needed" lol. 

So she's been cooking. 

And we've been eating.

It's awesome seeing my girls love their Po-po so much.

She loves hearing them giggles like crazy and play "hide and seek."

It's something I didn't think would happen with my kids. Having an active Grandma who can BE there with them. PLAY with them. Have their own little relationship together.

I didn't have grandparents local to me. I never had a real relationship with them. I've met my paternal grandparents 2-3 times. 

I've only met my maternal grandfather once, I believe.

Steve grew up having his grandparents a big part of his life. He spent weekends there. 

He cherishes the relationship he had with his Grandpa Teenie. 

Steve and I have enjoyed having another adult around as well. Someone who can (and WANTS TO) watch the girls and as I quote "I WILL SPOIL THEM ROTTEN" omg. 

We took the dogs on a hike

We took advantage of the 66 degree weather on Saturday and took care of our outdoor chores. We made sure the chickens had fresh food/water. We laid fresh straw down and cleaned out their coop and nesting boxes. 

We spent more time on the kitchen, installing our pot filler, new stove and fireback. We also worked on the backsplash more over the weekend as well.

Still to finish up on the kitchen - finish backsplash, grout, range hood and tower. 

Hopefully we'll keep this momentum going this week!

A Look Back on 2019

As the year comes to a close I have to reflect, as I'm sure many people do during this time of year.

I feel like Steve and I accomplished a lot this year.

I have successfully kept this blog alive for almost the entire year, posting almost every day. I'm pretty proud of this feat!

We adopted Bella-Boo and she has finally settled into our home. She's still working on how to be a family dog and learning how to alert us on potty training, but she is a sweetheart overall.

We completely renovated our upstairs, with the exception of the girls' bathroom (goal of ours for 2020) and built an office in the loft.

We were lucky enough to get a pool last year and this year, we were lucky to be able to build a sick deck to go with it.

Ava started in the local school district's Universal PreK program, which is a great way to transition her to Kindergarten next year. She's doing wonderfully in school.

Mila is thriving in second grade and her reading and comprehension has grown SO much in such a short amount of time.

Both girls had amazing parent/teacher conferences this year. Ava's teacher used the word "phenomenal" like 10 times.

My chickens had baby chicks! My first hatchlings. Hoping for more this year!

Our kitchen renovation is happening sooner than expected.

Steve and I planned our 10 year wedding anniversary trip.

My mom is moving home and my sister is moving in with her.

They can take care of each other.

They will be so much closer to me.

I will have a part of my family home!

I got promoted to Account Director (very recently!) I've been busting my ass for months and months (like, moreso than normal) and I'm glad it's been recognized.

I'm so grateful.

Sometimes I can't believe this is my life.

Bring it on, 2020!

Back to Life. Back to Reality.

Welp. 

I'm back to work. 

As of Monday, Jan. 6th.

The girls are back to school, too.

And let me tell ya. 

It was not an easy morning!

Waking Ava up is pretty brutal. 

"ONE MORE MINUTE" as she is smashed, face down in her pillow. 

This child is 5. JUST turned 5. Phew. She's gonna be a fun teenager. 

It didn't help that I didn't prepare myself to come back. 

We've been so focused on the kitchen and I really wanted to keep the momentum going.

Not only that, but being gone from the office for that long...while it was really nice...it made it so that I had SO MUCH TO CATCH UP ON.

Thankfully, my office was closed for the first week, so I wasn't missing anything from that week.

The week after was relatively slow, but there was still activity to stay on top of. 

My team is amazing and handled it all and I only got one phone call. All other inquiries I was able to handle via text or email.

So all of Monday was spent getting my shit together and pretending I had a clue of what was going on.

Tuesday was a bit better, but I think it's going to take a week to get myself put back together. 

On our way home from daycare, we got to see a few deer! This always makes the girls happy. 

There was one more to the left. They were SO close to us! On our way to daycare, we often see deer. We also count cows and donkeys at the farms we pass by LOL. 

As much as I'm still getting my shit together, I'm really pumped for 2020.

There are many things to look forward to.

Steve and I celebrate 10 years of wedded bliss and are super lucky that we get to travel to Italy and Greece to celebrate this milestone. 

We are vacationing with friends for the 4th of July and will be "boat people" for a few days. Our lodging is literally right on the water. 3 floors in this condo, with water access for our friend's boat. Steve and I will be renting a jet ski to ensure we'll be able to all travel as a group if we have to go by water (there is another family joining us also - I've known the dad since I was like 9). I cannot wait! there are 8 kids between us, all around the same age. We have the only two girls. LOL. I think being around all those boys will leave Steve thanking GOD that we have two girls. Haha! 

Not only is it a great way to spend July 4th, with our friends, but this will be the girls' vacation for the year. We were supposed to travel to Las Vegas and the girls were going to come with us (duh). But since our plans have changed, the girls will be staying with my mom instead and Steve and I are traveling alone (whaaaat? I haven't been away from my kids for more than 3 nights and it was torture). So they won't be going on a vacation really. So this invite was perfect! The girls will LOVE it.

My mom is moving home and I am so excited. I definitely see myself hanging at my mom's house with the kids on weekends and such. I can even stop there for dinner when my office moves - it'll be like 10 minutes from my mom's house, so it'll be nice to be able to stop over sometimes. 

Ava will start K this year. I'm happy and sad all at the same time.

Pumped for this girl to be in a FULL day of school - I know she will thrive. She's SO freaking smart.

She's super excited to ride the bus with Mila and be a "big kid"

But man. It means I'm REALLY out of the baby phase and that phase is just getting pushed further and further away.

I turn 38 at the end of this month.

I'm almost fucking 40.

I don't feel OLD or anything, but I know I'm aging. It's weird. I definitely don't feel "old enough" to be 38.

So many good things to come this year. I can just feel it. 

I don't usually make resolutions. 

But here are a few things I guess I could look into. Maybe not like resolutions, but goals or things to get accomplished this year? 

- Eat better (DUH)

- More exercise (UGH)

- Read more (now that the girls are older, I can sneak away to read. Plus, I love that my girls will see me reading and then run and grab a few books to join me)

- Reduce screen time for the entire family - Monday I started with no screen time. I allowed about 20 minutes after dinner for Mila to play her OSMO and for Ava to use her tablet. Pretty proud that I stuck to it. Even just with a DAY of not having electronics/screens, their imaginations have exploded. I love that. So we will continue to monitor and limit. We got really lax over break. 

- Build our barn

- Start our herd (I'm now also thinking alpacas!)

So, it was a rocky start to the week, but hopefully it'll calm down a bit as we get into the week and I get my shit together. 

Christmas Staycation Day 16 - THE LAST DAY!

Poor Steve.

This is Hell Week.

So he's working 6 out of 7 days.

All at least 13.5 hour days.

He also took on a small brake job over the weekend.

But, BUT.

I'm SO happy that he rallied Sunday and we worked from 9am - 10pm.

We continued tiling the backsplash.

We marked where the range hood should go.

Without having the pot filler, it was tough to know where to mark that on the wall.

Luckily for us, our water pipes are RIGHT behind our stove, because our half bath is right there.

Not much to update, other than we kept going until I got tired and decided it really was time for bed. it was 10pm, I still had to shower, make the kids' lunches and you know, get ready to go back to work, after being off for 16 days. 

So yeah. 

Christmas Staycation Day 15 (we took a break yesterday)

We took a break yesterday.

And when I say "we" I mean "me".

Steve was at work all day again.

Without knowing how to use the tile saw (and honestly, having zero interest in trying it myself), I took the day to just chill.

The kids and I relaxed a bit.

They played.

The end of my ridiculously long break is near. I'm trying not to have the "Sunday Scaries" too soon. 

I've enjoyed this time off. I've enjoyed being around my kids and family. I've enjoyed NOT having to go anywhere or do anything, unless we wanted to.

Steve is home tomorrow, so we're really trying to tackle as much as we can before we both go back to work on Monday.

Christmas Staycation Day 14

Friday, January 3

With Steve working again today, there wasn't much I felt like I could do.

I did pick up the wet saw today. So that's good.

I sanded and painted the holes that were leftover from the old knobs.

On our way back, the girls and I stopped to visit Steve at work.

They are repairing a diesel engine again. It belongs to a friend.

The crack going through the top circular thing is what's broken. Steve got the text "I blew up the engine. AGAIN." Like, how does that even happen?

And our new range hood arrived which is WAY more exciting! It wasn't exactly easy to get into the house, but I didn't want to leave it in the garage. 

I REALLY wanted to see what it looked like! 

It came extremely well-packaged.

GORGE you guys!

I cannot wait to see what it looks like installed. Steve really wanted to go with this pattern/texture and I'm excited. It's not normally something I'd pick out, but I love it. I think it'll go nicely with the draw pulls we chose (which should be coming early next week).

I am hoping that when Steve gets home tonight, we can work a little on the backsplash. I want to get to a point where I can maybe do a little bit myself tomorrow. I'm a bit nervous....I've never tiled anything....in my life.

I think I just talked myself out of it.

Christmas Staycation Day 13

Thursday, January 2

Steve is back to work today.

And it's also his hell week.

He works 6 out of the next 7 days. 13.5 hour shifts.

He's always beat at the end of them.

It's not only hell week for him, but for me, too. Sorta.

I'm single-parenting it for those days.

I do 100% of the parenting during those days. And they can be long days without my partner's support.

ANYWAY.

The only thing I wanted to accomplish today was a trip to the grocery store(s).

I used to only go to Wegmans (duh).

My mom always said "you should shop at ALDI too and then go to Wegmans for the rest" and I always told her that dragging two kids with me to two different stores wasn't the most appealing thing to me, to save a couple of bucks, if that.

But, now that the girls are a bit older, I've started to venture out.

We stop at ALDI to check out the weekly deals and grab a few of our must-haves.

Then we hit up Wegmans for the rest.

Sometimes I save money.

Sometimes not.

That's all we did.

I will need to run out tomorrow to grab the wet saw we're borrowing so we can finish the tile backsplash.

My hope is to get that part done and the doors up before I go back to work next week!

Christmas Staycation Day 12 - Kitchen Reno

Wednesday, January 1 (I'm starting to lose track of my days!)

We spent all day working on the kitchen and honestly, it didn't feel like we accomplished much.

We got up around 8 and after eating breakfast, we headed out right away to pick up the materials we needed for the backsplash and also some hole filler for the cabinet doors, where the old knobs used to be.

We went to Home Depot so we could rent a tile cutter, but ended up buying one since it was only $4 more than the daily rental fee.

First, there are so many fucking options.

I always wanted white subway tile - but once we got there, holy moly the options were endless.

 So many to choose from. We decided to stick with our initial idea of simple white subway tile. 

We got a simple tile cutter

Instead of using traditional mortar, we're using this adhesive.

Steve sprayed the cabinet doors and filled all the holes while I gave the cabinets and molding another coat of paint.

Steve works 6 out of the next 7 days, so that totally sucks for our progress. He'll likely spray the doors again tomorrow night, but we won't be able to finish the backsplash until Sunday when he's home (the ONLY day of rest he'll have in a week...)

We're finding that using the tile cutter and nippers is still not enough. It doesn't give us the clean edge we need to get around our window moldings. We're hoping to borrow a wet saw from a friend.

We called it an early-ish night and stopped around 8:30.

I'll be filling holes and sanding and giving the cabinets another coat of paint (making that 3 in total) tomorrow while Steve is at work.

Christmas Staycation Day 11 - More Kitchen Reno

We've been busy. Today's Tuesday.

Mila had a sleepover last night and we continued on with the cabinets.

Steve decided he couldn't take the microwave any longer. 

We've hated it since we've moved in.

I never understood why people put microwaves over stoves/ovens to begin with. Let's heat food up someplace above our heads and when it's done, we're taking hot food out and if we slip up? Hot food in our face. 

I just don't get it.

ANYWAY.

I grew up with a mom who cooked a LOT.

Like, a lot a lot. 

Like, every single day and in our culture, she didn't make just one entree and a couple of sides. 

She made like 3 entrees and like 6 sides. With rice or soup or both.

It's just how I grew up.

So we always had a super nice hood vent thing above our stove. 

We decided that since we're doing this, that we should do it right.

So we're getting a new range hood. It should be coming Friday.

We're also getting a new stove. It's arriving next Thursday (coincidentally the same day my mom gets into town!)

The cabinets are coming along.

This is real life people! My cabinets are not organized. 

Steve also decided that he didn't want to risk painting all the cabinets. There were stroke marks that were visible and while they didn't bother me all that much, Steve couldn't stand it. 

He gave the sprayer a try.

Our compressor and the sprayer were not working well together. I'm not sure entirely why, but Steve ended up going out and buying another sprayer. 

And he had a ball.

It obviously went much faster and was much more consistent. 

The primer alone looked fantastic. I cannot wait to see what the paint will look like. 

We've primed everything at this point and have one coat of paint on the cabinets. 

Tomorrow we will do another coat of paint on the cabinets and spray the doors with the first coat of paint. 

I was hoping to get the doors up by tomorrow (Wednesday) night but I fear not letting them sit long enough and then handling them and messing them up.

Maybe we'll wait until the weekend. 

We also ordered our drawer pulls and handles. I'm not going to post them just yet, as I want to do a full reveal!

I'm so excited!