What in the actual....F???

"A woman was pecked to death by a rooster, pathologists say"

WHAT, THE FUCK?

I know Roosters are assholes. I've had my fair share of attacks. Blood drawn. Several times. I've learned to carry a big stick. 

I don't recall if I mentioned it on the blog, but I was held hostage recently by 3 roosters in our pasture. I was out feeding the babies, had their food and my pitchfork. However, I was unable to turn my back to put the food IN the little coop, because all 3 roosters were surrounding me and staring at me. I was trapped there for about 10 minutes before I just dropped the food bucket and ran my ass outta there.

We now only have one rooster.

My friend sent me this article.

I mean, I guess I can believe it? But did this old lady just sit there and let these roosters peck the shit out of her?

"According to pathologists from the University of Adelaide and the Netherlands Forensic Institute, a domestic rooster attacked the woman on her rural property, pecking at her left leg and 'causing significant hemorrhage with collapse and death.

Death was therefore due to exsanguination (draining of blood or significant blood loss) from bleeding varicose veins following an attack by a rooster" the researcher wrote. 

Here are my cocks LOL. Well, we only have one now. Because they are such assholes. 

Roosters anyone?

Speaking of culling chickens...

We have 3 roosters.

Not by choice.

We got the one rooster from our friend, because he already had one. And this rooster was getting picked on by the other rooster. He was in rough shape when we got him.

He then grew the biggest set of balls, apparently.

Because he's the biggest asshole, ever.

He's attacked he at least 4 times, drawing blood 3 of those times. (I believe).

He's pecked Mila in the face!

I've learned to take a stick with me, or a pitchfork, for protection.

The other two were surprise roosters - when we added to our flock a while ago, we bought "sexed" chicks, which are guaranteed female (hens/pullets, who will lay eggs), although I've read that 10% could be males.

Anyway, our New Jersey Giants and Brahmas were not guaranteed females.

Of course we got two more roosters.

Beautiful bird. He has not attacked me yet. 

My Brahma in the back, between the two reds

My strategy to protect myself didn't work this past weekend.

Our "teenagers" as I affectionately call them, are located in a small coop that is inside our fenced area. They are locked in there for the time being - they are on chick grower food, not layer food, and they aren't old enough yet to be on that food. We have about 5-6 weeks left. Chicks should be at least 16 weeks old before they are put on layer food.

I went out, pitchfork in one hand, water in the other.

All THREE of these fucking roosters run over. I think they do this for a couple of reasons:

1. They are actually protecting the chicks from me
2. They are interested in the food that I have for them (most likely)
3. They are legit trying to kill me

So, I stood out there for a solid 15 minutes, trying to figure out how to turn my back to these fucking birds, keep them at bay with a pitchfork, open the coop door and put the water in there without tipping it over or being attacked. (We put the water up on two boards so their bedding doesn't get kicked into the water dish easily).

Um. Yeah.

I stood there thinking for a bit.

Abu came at me - I YELLED LOUD and swung the pitchfork.

The other two have never, and I mean NEVER gotten close to me. They usually run the other way.

But, this time. THIS TIME.

My fucking Brahma Rooster came at me.

THIS CHICKEN IS HUGE, PEOPLE.

I threw the water down and ran out of the gate. I ran so fast I was worried I'd trip and fall and subsequently get pecked to death by 3 roosters.

FUCK.

I haven't been able to get near it since.

So, Steve and I have to move that sucker out of the fenced area so I can access it.

Needless to say, we need to figure out our rooster issue.

Roosters can be MEAN

When we started this whole "I think I want a farm" thing, we knew we'd start with something easy: chickens.

I had heard and read that roosters can be mean. Aggressive. But, that with handling and the right amount of human interaction, they could be decent pets. 

We didn't have a rooster in our first flock. It's a guessing game - we got 6 chicks and we had to wait for them to grow before knowing if they were females/males. 

Steve said it'd be a good idea to have one rooster in our flock. They protect the hens. Steve also likes the idea of waking up to a rooster cock-a-doodle-doing. 

Our friend ended up with two roosters, so offered one to us to adopt. He wasn't very old at the time (6-8 months?) but we knew his father Cogburn was an asshole. 

A big asshole. 

Abu, as Mila affectionately called him (we have a Disney Movie theme going on...) was pretty good in the beginning.

Then he matured. 

It was over the summer and I was wearing shorts and my muck boots (they up almost up to my knees). I headed out to the coop to water/feed, etc. 

Before I knew it, Abu was attacking me from behind. Rooster Spurs are a real thing. I didn't know it at the time, but I learned quickly.

Roosters attack with their feet. They fly up and literally come at you with their crazy sharp claws/spurs. 

I was hit. 

Badly.

I was bleeding in 3 areas and he was not backing down. 

I was screaming. 

It is NO JOKE being attacked by a rooster. 

So, I learned to take something with me to keep him at bay. I have a large stick that I've had for years (fire poker stick) that I now use to keep Abu away from me. 

I always have to keep one eye on him. Which isn't always easy when I have two buckets full of food/grains, a stick, trying to FILL the food, removing the waterer and filling the waterer. It can be a handful sometimes. 

He's attacked me several times, each time drawing blood. 

He's even attacked me so badly that he went through my PANTS (when I smartened up) and drew blood. 

He's even gone after the girls (let me be clear: I do NOT let the girls go where roosters are free-ranging - the incident where he PECKED HER FACE happened when Steve was on the mower and not paying attention as he should have been!!! We talked about it!)

So now I arm myself with a stick, a pitchfork, a large bucket, anything - just to keep distance between me and him. If Steve is out, he is less likely to attack me.

Steve has heard me screaming and has "come to the rescue" only to laugh at me while I'm running and flailing and yelling expletives, while a ferocious rooster is at my heels. 

Thankfully I have two other roosters who don't seem to have the same mean streak.