Summer Dayz

Even though life sucks mostly for me these days...I am trying so hard to make sure my girls are making fun memories. I don't want them looking back and remembering that I was miserable, sad, and didn't want to do things with them. 

Yes, I realize that I'm faking it a lot of the times...but there are the real times sprinkled throughout too. I'll do what I have to do to plaster a smile on my face for my kids. 

That being said, we have had a great summer so far. 

Spending time with friends on the water is my favorite thing to do. Being with my friends means so much right now, because I feel like it's all I have. 

But they don't want to hang with me as much, because who wants to hang out with the girl who has so much drama going on all the time. Who wants to be triggered by my mere presence of what my husband did. I mean, this is just my assumption. They still invite me out. I'm not as "hey let's hang out" as I was before either. 

Anyway. Regardless of all that, I'm trying to do things that are important for me. My therapist (more on that later) says that right now my focus is ME. Not my family, not even the girls (although they are a very, very close second), but ME. If I'm not ok, no one will be ok.

Boating, pool days, lazy days, summer camp. 

I miss summer as a kid, man. I hope my kids are enjoying it!

PAID OFF (finally)

I've always had a car payment. Since I can remember. Well, since I've been an adult, I've had a car payment. I've always budgeted for it, don't get me wrong. I like nice cars. I like cars. I like driving. 

So I always thought I'd be ok having a car payment. 

Yeah, well, that was a long ass time ago, when my most expensive car payment was $300 per month. So that didn't seem so bad.

Now? Cars are so stupid expensive that a monthy loan on a car, financed for a stupid length of time...I mean I know people paying $1,000 per month. For a car. 

No sir. 

My current vehicle is a 2014 Ford ExploDER Sport. I bought it in January of 2018 and it was by far the most expensive car I've purchased. I think we paid $32,000 or something back then. It was 4 years old and I don't remember the mileage, but it wasn't terrible. 

It was the fanciest car I've ever owned. 

It now has over 112,000 miles on it and I just paid it off, people.

I paid the final $2,905 Friday and it feels SO good.

And here's the thing. I'm not about to go buy a new (to me) car. I was planning to get a newer car in the Spring.

I might not now. I didn't expect to pay it off today. But I've been watching Dave Ramsey a lot and I figured, I had the cash in my savings, may as well pay that fucker off and reduce my my monthly bills. 

So I did. 

I thought this was pretty iconic. 111,111 miles. 

But now I've released $500 each month (we've actually been paying more than that, to get it down) so that can go to other bills and savings. 

And I have no desire to get a new truck. I mean, I really love my truck and there are no issues with it. I just replaced the rusty tail gate, so it looks much better now too.

I want to make sure that when I get a newer car, I'm not paying a ridiculous monthly payment. 

We also haven't had a payment on the Expedition in years. I don't think we've ever NOT had a car payment! 

Gah this feels good! 

Tubing Fun

This is our 3rd summer with our little boat and the first time we've tubed with it. We've enjoyed tubing with friends and their boats and jetskis, but not on our own boat.

So I bought the girls a towable and it's been amazingly fun ever since. 

These girls have no fear and it's hilarious. They love getting knocked off! I'm always a little nervous, but they definitely don't seem to be worried lol. 

Grateful to be able to bring the girls' friends with us!

Now we just need a bigger boat :)

Foster Dog #3

Yes, I know. 

I'm certifiably insane. 

I'm living in a perpetual state of hell these days, trying to climb (claw) myself out of this pit I'm living in. 

So when another wiener dog needs to be rescued? 

Sign me up.

Because why not add to this shit show?

Meet Sherman (previously known as "Chip")

We drove out to Buffalo one evening to pick him up.

He came from a broken home (more broken than mine, lol). In a home where he wasn't really wanted. The wife brought him home, against the wishes of the husband. Husband never wanted him. Wife is mentally ill and has been in and out of treatment the last few months. Wife/husband also getting divorced. So...this little boy needed a loving home.

meeting Bean Bean

What's even crazier, is that I was dog sitting Willow. So we had 5 dogs in our house for over a week! 

He's super cute. And a sweet, sweet boy. 

All 5 in one shot.

His set up. 

Multiple walks a day for this guy. He's only 1.5 years old and has waaaay more energy than Bean.

He might actually be the longest

my next tattoo - the signature ear flip

Walking 3 tiny dogs

Reading to him

Tolerates hats

So dapper with his bow tie

Didn't mind the life vest.

He's a really good boy. He has a great personality. He's fun, funny, full of energy and definitely acts like he's a LARGE dog. Not a tiny wiener. 

But here's the thing. He's not fixed. 

And he just WILL NOT LEAVE FEMALES ALONE. Like, EVER.

He is super annoying in that sense. He is constantly up their twats and it's so frustrating. He whines and whimpers when he can't get to them.

He can't just chill out and lay with us - he needs constant correction. 

I cannot WAIT until he's fixed. The rescue I work with coordinates all of that and the animal hospitals are just booked so far out. Being that he's an adult, he is at the top of the list, but it's been a couple of weeks now and still nothing.

Once he's fixed and settled again (he came into our home with another dog here, so we want him to settle into what our real life is like) we will see if he can be around Bella and Bean Bean. If he can relax and not be UP THEIR VAGINAS ALL DAY, he can stay. If not, he's going up for adoption. Even though that would be so sad for me. 

BUT, I have to consider my existing pack. I don't want to keep them separated ALL THE TIME. That's not a life for a dog. He wants to be with us. He can only be with us leashed and when someone is around to correct him. Otherwise he's annoying. 

I brought him to my friend's house because he had always wanted a wiener with this coloring. My friend has two shepherds and one Belgian Malinois. The Malinois is insane. I mean, he's fine with me and my kids since we are known to him, but man. I wouldn't want to be a stranger meeting Rambo.

Sherman? Please. He did not give a SHITTTTT. He went after Rambo like it was nothing. Playfully of course.

LOL. 

So yes. I currently have 4 dogs in my house. Two of which are wieners. 

I know I'm ridiculous. I know. I can't help it. 

Canada - Day 2 & 3

I haven't written in almost a month. It's not that I don't have a lot to say. It's just really, really hard to say it. It's like if I say - er, type - something, it might make it real. Or something.

But for the life of me, I want to document the good things. I want to look back and remember fond memories of good times. Not the shitty times. I want to look back and pretend it was just all good. 

So let's go back to Day 2 of our Toronto trip. We wanted to do something fun for the girls, as waiting in line at Chinese restaurants for hours isn't at the top of their list. 

We decided to pre-buy tickets and man I'm SO glad we did. 

First, lunch!

These were GORGEOUS

It was an amazing aquarium! We loved it. It was large enough to feel like you spent a decent amount of time there and it was worth the money. But it wasn't SO huge that it was annoying to get through. You follow a pretty structured path to get to see all the things. So, so cool.

After the aquarium, we wanted to hit up the pool. The hotel is so large that we had to book time at the pool because if everyone was there...there could be hundred of people...

Everything worked out just fine though - we made it back to the hotel just in time for our time slot.

After swimming we were supposed to go out to dinner. But we were all still so stuffed from lunch! And we had so many leftovers...we thought it'd be a better idea to hang back at the hotel and just eat our leftovers. I really didn't want to bring it all home! 

So glad we got nice suites at the hotel (Thanks Mom!) so we could all comfortably sit and eat and hang out. 

I was so excited to eat a fresh one, Mom was right. Didn't taste like much.

A true Asian. Chopsticks and slurping noodles from the bowl.

had to do a hotel mirror selfie lol

They loved running down the hallway

Day 3:

We knew we wanted Dim Sum before we left. My mom heard of this fancy place - which was great, but me and Steve really do prefer the hole in the wall places where the ladies push the cart with food and yell at you. 

This was more upscale and you ordered from a menu. It was beautiful and the food was so good. But it's just a different atmosphere than the original Cantonese style.

We parked right in front of the restaurant, kept the car running and AC on and Bean Bean was in her crate. I came out to check on her every 20 minues to make sure she was ok. She was! She did great on her first road trip!

We did a tiny bit more shopping before heading back to NY. We all had such a nice time! Next time though we want to stay a little longer and enjoy more food. It's just impossible to stuff yourself that much!

Cheers!