I lost My Job last week.
I know.
It's just...still...wow.
I'm not in shock anymore, but I'm still shocked. Does that make sense?
I've never not had a job.
Since I graduated from college back in 2004 (where my OG people at?!) I've had a job and I've supported myself.
Even though I was a young 22 year old advertising "professional", I lived in my own condo, paid my own bills. Yes, my parents helped a lot, but I still maintained. I never had to ask my parents for anything.
Then when Steve and I got together, it was nice being DINKS (Dual Income No Kids). We went out to eat a lot. We went to the movies a lot. We took monthly weekend trips to NYC to visit friends. And GO OUT. Oh Lord how we went out in NYC...
ANYWAY.
Having kids changed things, as it should. Kids are fucking PRICEY.
Daycare?
FUCKING DAYCARE?
There was a point when Steve and I were paying $1100 per month (because it was a 5-week month) for two kids in PART TIME daycare.
Yeah.
But we did it.
We managed and still were able to live a life. But were very mindful of our budget, our retirement, savings, etc.
Then as we got older, we made more money.
I changed jobs and that increased my salary pretty significantly.
And now?
WTF.
It's an ODD feeling.
However, after processing this (still processing!) I'm wondering if I even go back full-time.
I mean.
We can afford for me not to.
I can take a pay cut and we can still live a great life (maybe not as carefree as before...) but we could do it.
Also, the thing about Steve's job? Well. He's able to go in on extra days and wrench.
And that's pretty lucrative if there are jobs coming in.
And since he's considered an "A" Level Technician, they are few and far between. Plus with his seniority, he could get the gravy jobs.
So.
That's where I'm at.
I don't have to rush into a new job just to have one to hold us over.
I want to find the right job.
One where I can feel like I can grow.
Be there for a while and help them grow.
It's taken me a few days to calm the fuck down. I have stopped crying at the drop of a dime.
I'm trying to enjoy the fact that I have nothing to do.
I am spending time with my family.
Like really spending time with them.
She found a newt and was SO excited
I'm really trying to "enjoy this time" which is much easier said than done. I mean. Yes, I'm beyond grateful that me not going back to work full time is even in consideration at this time.
I think if Steve had it his way, he'd keep his cushy schedule and I'd go back full time (who wouldn't want that?) BUT, because he's an amazing man, and knows how hard I've worked my entire career, while having and breastfeeding two kids during the early parts of my career (meaning - really still proving myself within my place of work), he understands my lack of desire to return to work full time.
In my industry, that means 40 - 70 hours per week.
There are definite perks - flexibility for one. I can work from almost anywhere, so as long as I have Internet connection, I can work.
If the girls have a recital? I can go.
Parent/teacher conference? I can go.
Doctor's appointments? I can go.
All without taking PTO.
But the down side is that I'm pretty much always working.
I can leave the office (when we were in offices) around 4:30 to go get the girls (so I wasn't stuck in traffic at 5 - 5:30).
But that also means that after dinner, playtime, bath time, bedtime, if I need to hop on the computer to finish up work, I can and do.
I can't count the number of nights I've stayed up working until midnight or longer.
But, it's the industry I'm in and I get it. I picked this industry.
And I love it.
But, now that I'm a parent, my perspective has changed.
Yes, I want to provide for my family.
But I also want to be around for my family.
So we'll see how this all pans out.
In other news, I applied for 3 open positions last week and then had two phone calls. One on Friday (July 24) and one on Monday (July 27).
The phone calls were different/separate from the 3 positions I applied to.
We'll see what happens.
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