I encourage you to watch this Ted Talk from Dr. Peter Gray. He goes into how waaaaay back in the day, hunters/gatherers' children were off playing from dawn until dusk.
From dawn until dusk.
With no adult supervision.
In fact, all mammals play. Playing is what teaches young mammals how to behave. How to act socially and emotionally. It teaches social norms.
It makes total sense.
Back in the day, kids didn't start kindergarten until like age 7 (or something). There was no homework. They learned through independent play.
I love this philosophy.
Dr. Gray also mentions how nowadays, there are so many more kids suffering from anxiety, depression, and stress.
The Montessori school we had enrolled Mila in for Preschool had twenty minutes of "optional" homework each night.
20 minutes.
Of homework.
For a 4 year old.
Even though I was told it was optional, I still felt like we were slackers. Even though I KNOW she's not "behind" if we don't do the homework.
But, for fuck's sake, tell me HOW ON EARTH I'm supposed to fit this in.
After work.
In between making dinner, feeding dinner, cleaning up, bath, PLAY, READING, having an 18 month old also....I just couldn't do it.
So we didn't.
And then shortly afterwards, we pulled both girls from that daycare/school. It just didn't jive with us.
Now that Mila is in first grade and Ava will be heading to UPK in the Fall, I decided last year to take a break. Take a break from it all.
Mila started with a toddler gym class, which was tailored to kids ages 1-2, I believe. That was each Saturday morning and we loved it.
Then when we moved, we signed Mila up for dance at the local YMCA (not hard core dance). We went every Saturday morning and I dragged Ava along with us each week. She did dance for 2 years. We enjoyed it and met some great friends. That's how I found our current daycare provider as well! One of the moms I met worked at the daycare and knew Miss Leah. She introduced us.
Once Ava was old enough, I enrolled both girls into gymnastics for 16 weeks (2 sessions) - this was super fun and I'll likely enroll again this fall. It made for long Saturdays, but I think it's worth it. The girls' classes were back to back, so it's two hours there, then lunch at the Burger Bar, then grocery shopping. Part of me hates the how busy we are those mornings and the other part of me loves the routine.
Then we hit summer and while I had looked into horseback riding (it's expensive!) we opted to take a break over summer and do nothing. Enjoy lazy mornings, the slow pace of summer. Be outside. Do our own activities each day/weekend. Outside chores are so much more fun than inside chores!
And enjoy it we did! Swimming, hiking, running, gardening, chasing chickens, playing, bon-firing, etc. It was glorious. We ended the summer with a beach vacation.
Then I decided again to take a break for the fall term. It was Ava's first year of "school", and I just didn't feel like getting the girls up and ready to go on Saturday mornings. It was always a rush. And for whatever activities I sign them up for, I need to be able to bring both kids and deal with them myself - since Steve works Saturdays every other month. It was more of an issue when Ava was a baby, but I still like to find things that coordinate and make sense - gymnastics was perfect - Ava's class was at 10, Mila's was at 11. She finished up at noon and that's when we'd head to Wegmans to eat lunch at the Burger Bar. Then do our weekly grocery shopping.
But this meant that we were gone from 9:30am - 2:30pm even Saturday. Again, part of me loves it, part of me hates it!
Don't get me wrong - I am all about my kids being in activities. I want them to learn, be social, find something they LOVE.
But I also know they have time for that. I don't need to schedule my 4 and 6 year old into too many activities - I just want to let them be. (Cue The Beatles)
And living out where we live is incredibly conducive to this lifestyle/philosophy.
Now, don't get me wrong.
I'm a helicopter mom by nature.
But I also have a rational side of me that knows that I shouldn't be a helicopter mom.
Last summer was the first time I felt comfortable enough to tell the girls after work/daycare "I'm going in to cook dinner, you guys stay outside until I call you in."
And it worked! I couldn't believe it.
For 30 - 45 minutes, my girls were outside playing.
Without any adult supervision.
Of course I ran to every single window to see if I could see them playing outside. Once I could, I calmed the fuck down and was able to get dinner made.
I would periodically check every window on the ground level to see if I could see them.
This year, I'm not nearly as nutty about it. It hasn't even been a full year, but Ava has matured a LOT in the last 6-8 months.
Now when they are outside, I only check every window like every 10 minutes or yell really loudly out the front door and wait to hear "yeah mom" from one of them. It's glorious.
Girls playing on their playset (see the blue coat on the left side of the playset? That's Mila's coat.
Ava is wearing pink.) This pic was taken zoomed in quite a bit. I was standing in the kitchen.
This is a more realistic photo - this is taken without any zooming going on. They are pretty far from me. But, that's why we placed the playset strategically where I could see them from the kitchen.
They built this really cool fort with dad the other day
They have a "secret" set up back there.
I do totally still get nervous if I can't see them. Last week Mila was playing a "prank" on me and wouldn't answer me when I yelled for her.
I almost lost it! I came barreling out of the front door, screaming her name, just to see her shit-eating smile peeking out from behind the coop.
We talked about answering mom every. single. time.
We love looking for bird's nests in the Spring! We found an old discarded one yesterday.
Sorry for the blurry pic, but Ava was very proud to carry it!
Found another one!
But this summer? I'm pumped. The deck will be up so that will make life easier for sure (don't worry we will have bells, whistles and alarms all over that sonofabitch to ease my paranoia). I still plan on kicking my kids outside for most of the summer.
At least I'm not locking the door like my mom did.
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