Moving Out

You guys.

This post is both incredibly sad and yet incredibly exciting all at the same time. I never knew I could feel two emotions that are on such oppposite ends of the spectrum, but, here I am.

During the last month, while I've been preparing for the dissolution of my marriage, I found an apartment. 

I hate that I'm paying more than my mortgage (that I currently split with Steve) to live in apartment that is less than half the square footage of my house. My "dream" house at the time I bought it. My forever home. I said I would never move again. I swore they'd have to take my dead body out of this house.

I went back and forth on what kind of place I could see myself and the girls in. I know I can't buy a house right away - I don't want the pressure of being homeless while trying to find the "right one." I want to do something easy for right now. I do NOT have the mental capacity to worry about anything additional.

I went to my first apartment tour just to get my bearings. I have never lived in an apartment complex, other than college. I have never lived in anything new, either. 

The first one was just ok. It was renovated, which was nice, but it was tiny. Two bedroom. Two bath. Tiny. If it's going to be a two bedroom, it'd have to be a bit larger since my girls would have to share a room. We'd be on top of each other. It just needed a little more breathing room. Especially since I work from home...I'm home a lot. I don't want to feel trapped. That is a huge trigger of mine. 

This rent was just under my mortgage. Gross. And it did not include utilities. A washer and dryer in unit would cost an additional $100 (or I could buy my own).

The second place I toured was...um...nothing short of amazing. 

Brand new complex, just outside of town in a rural area.

The Clubhouse alone was absolutely outrageous. 

Three bedroom, two bath, washer/dryer in unit. Water, sewer, trash, cable/Internet is included in the rent. 24-hour maintenance (I hope that means a maintenance man named something like Miguel who would be able to you know, service anything that I might need, lol). 24-hour gym. Pool. Pickle ball court, mini bowling alley, golf simulator. 

And it's gorgeous, to boot.

Oh and it has a huge balcony and an extra large one-car garage. 

Landscaping is included, but I can also plant my own flowers.

The bus comes right to the driveway, pretty much.

And the unit I chose backs to some green space, not directly into another unit, which is nice. 

Here's to the next chapter. Here's to finding peace and happiness again. 

Here's to healing so I can be the best mom I can be to the two best little people in the world - they deserve nothing but the best I can do. 

The day I signed my contract and put down a deposit. Mixed feelings of course. 

Bonding Over Food

Ever since I was little, it's been me and my Dad. (This sounds like the beginning of that Little Critter storybook!) but, I spent a lot of time with my Dad. 

As I got older, the less we spoke to each other though. That didn't mean our closeness changed though. There was always this silent understanding between us.

Being that he lives in Las Vegas now...there's amazing food everywhere. Every kind. Multiple fusion blends and it's always hard deciding where to eat.

When we were in Waikiki, we went to a place called Mango Mango. A dessert place that had mango everything. Ice cream, fresh fruit, fruit juices, lychee jelly, boba, all sorts of random Chinese toppings.

I had a random thought and wondered if maybe Las Vegas would have one. And wouldn't you know it??

There is one here - it's only like 10 minutes from Dad's house. 

So we went on a date. He didn't know about it, so now he has another place to hit up if he ever wanted it. I also told my friend from high school, who I met up with the other day, about it so she could go with her family. 

Anyway. It was as amazing as it was in Waikiki. This was a sit down situation though, versus counter service like in Waikiki.

I mean, come on, so cute!!

I got the same thing I got in Hawaii - mango ice cream, fresh strawberries and mangoes in a strawberry sauce with lychee jelly. 

Dad got coconut ice cream with mix fruit and mango on the bottom

This is how the check comes. Like, are you kidding?

I couldn't leave without some takeout. Mango crepe cake. 

It was a delicious breakfast.

I enjoyed it while I logged into my work computer at 5:30am local time. 

After a few hours of work meetings and trying to catch up from a holiday weekend, Dad and I went to lunch.

We were thinking sushi maybe, but then last minute decided on Vietnamese. Pho to be exact.

And it was everything I dreamed of. 

I was not planning on getting a Boba drink from here, but I watched as 3 people ordered it from the same table, so I assumed it had to be good. It was. 

I leave tomorrow and will not have the capability to go out and eat again. 

But I can get food delivery....

80

Well, technically Dad turned 80 a few weeks ago.

But, you know, I've been a little distracted and also, Dad lives in Las Vegas. The middle of August in Las Vegas? Even for someone who likes HOT, that's a bit too hot if I'm not on a boat or near a pool. It's just...hot. A wall of hot hits you when you exit a vehicle or the house.

But, 80 is a big deal and my Dad is my heart. I've been a daddy's girl since I can remember. 

I wanted to bring the girls, but this was also the trip in which I told my dad the entire, terrible story of the past 2 years. 

And that I was divorcing my husband.

So I could shatter this poor man's heart at the old age of 80. The last thing I want is for Dad to worry about me. I know he will anyway, because he's a good parent and always will worry. But this kind of worry? It's horrifying. My dad should be able to live out his golden years without worrying about his adult children.

Visiting Dad is always a good time - I mean, he and I LOVE TO EAT. We have a ton of memories eating together. Driving up to Toronto for a weekened. Eating and shopping. When I was in college, it was about halfway from our house in Rochester to Toronto, so Dad would swing by university and pick me up.

Las Vegas also has amazing food. And so many freaking options it's hard to choose.

First and foremost is Dim Sum.

I landed around 10:45am, couldn't find dad for way too fucking long at the airport, stopped at his house to drop stuff off and change. Went to Dim Sum and OMG you guys. It's so fucking good.

After stuffing myself, we headed back home for a nap. That's one thing about Dad. He's very low maintenance. Food, naps, coffee. 

After the nap, we went to get Boba Tea. Yes, we have some back at home, but it's not nearly as good. There are so many Boba Tea Cafes all over, so competition is tough.They have to have a good product. 

And it was everything I imagined. 

There are so many flavors and boba types (tapioca, popping, etc.) but I will always and forever go with the classic Black Milk Tea with tapioca bobas. I cannot even describe in words how good this was. 

Our brunch was super filling, and then my boba tea was also very filling. Dad didn't want to go out again for dinner, since we really didn't need to. We also had a ton of leftovers to get through. 

However. 

I don't live in an area in which I can order food and have it delivered to my front door. (Not yet, anyway!)

So I had to take advantage of the fact that Dad lives near everything. I mean, everything.

Thai?

Sushi?

Mediterranean? 

Chinese?

Korean?

Hawaiian?

I went with Hawaiian.

Absolutely delicious and very, very similar to Korean BBQ. I would say the only difference I could notice was the mac salad? I ordered fried calamari and kimchi as well. 10/10 would recommend. 

My body is still on east coast time and I woke up Saturday starving. I ate my Hawaiian leftovers and it was just as good - maybe even better - than the night before. 

Dad and I hung around during the day. I cleaned his kitchen. Took a nap. My brain has needed the rest. I can't believe how tired I am. I think these few days away with my Dad is good for my brain. I don't think I'm overthinking very much while I'm here. Just where I want to eat next! Ha! 

Dad loves a good burger and one tradition we started was getting In N Out burgers while I'm here. We don't have that back at home and it's a great burger chain if you ask me. I remember I flew in late one time and when we got back to Dad's house, he had a cheeseburger waiting for me and I CRUSHED that thing at like 1am. 

Dad's backyard - mountains in the distance

I had just taken a shower and my hair was wet. I went outside for like 5 minutes and it was dried.

Lunch on Sunday. Roasted duck and pork belly. 

The first few days with Dad have been filled with food, coffee and reassurance from him that I'll be OK. My dad is a man of very, very few words. But I know he loves me more than anything. I've always been his girl, ever since I was a little itty bitty kid. While my mom stayed with my sister in the hospital, I was back with my dad. 

Just being in his (quiet) presence is comforting.