This is getting out of control.
We discovered evidence again in our basement.
Steve's mower is stored in our basement in the winter (it's a double-door walkout basement).
The seat was destroyed.
So we put more traps out.
And we got him. (DRY-HEAVING)
One morning Steve told me that during the night, Bella was going nuts in her crate. He thought she had to go out (she did) but didn't want to due to the weather.
She makes this "hermph-ing" sound (which is 100% adorable) but her crate is directly above where the trap was placed. And she's going nuts.
So when he got up, he went down and comes back up and reports "yup, got that motherfucker" and gets ready to hop in the shower.
Well.
Curiosity got the best of me.
Of course.
So I tip toe down there - totally terrified of what I am going to see.
He told me it was behind our chest freezer we have down there.
Dead.
So I go to look.
Can't see anything.
I nudge the freezer.
PEOPLE.
THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS NOT FUCKING DEAD.
The tail starts flopping. (GAG)
I AM FLIPPING THE FUCK OUT.
I start screaming and run upstairs and get Steve right before he hops in the shower.
So he's completely naked. LOL.
Anyway.
I'm like "HE'S NOT FUCKING DEAD, DUDE. WHAT THE FUCK DUDE. YOU NEED TO GO DOWN AND DEAL WITH THIS."
And he's looks me straight in the face, completely calm, and says "I'm about to hop in the shower. The pellet gun is on top of the fridge downstairs."
And people.
HE GOT IN THE FUCKING SHOWER.
He turned the music on, too.
Like WTF.
Can't let the rat suffer, right? Because I'm HUMAN.
So I do what I have to do. (GAG)
And ok, this is pretty gruesome, so this is your warning to look away.
Can you see that fucker's foot? GROSS.
So I shot two pellets into the motherfucker. FYI - that "wet" spot directly above the body? That's where Steve found the rat and thought it was dead. It was alive enough to shuffle its body 180 degrees before I shot it. SO GROSS.
NOW he's dead.
I am just not made out for this lifestyle.
I don't think.
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